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Mafia IV story idea
Note: The particularly important details and music artist names are in
bold text. Licensed music track names are in
italics.
The year is 1973, five years after the events of the Mafia III, and 22 years since Vito Scaletta’s seen or heard from his old friend Joe Barbaro. The canon ending of Mafia III with this Mafia IV story is Vito taking over the city after Lincoln skipped town, however Cassandra and Burke are left alive and loyal to both Vito and Lincoln still. Burke was able to survive his liver cancer by getting a black market liver transplant in Mexico, like he did in his ending, except with Vito running the city. On Vito and Lincoln’s behalf, Burke and Cassandra agree to stay behind in New Bordeaux and keep the city locked down, incase Leo Galante and the Commission try anything.
The beginning cutscene is Vito answering his telephone after getting up in the morning in his new penthouse, on the top floor of the New Bordeaux casino he finished that was once Sal Marcano's, and grabbing a cup of coffee. It's Alma with some urgent news. Lincoln Clay came down to the cigar warehouse to visit her after 5 years of silence, and he has big news.
Joe is alive in Empire Bay and has been this entire time. However, as punishment for his actions, he's become Leo Galante's personal driver against his will and is forbidden from contacting Vito ever again, or else him and Vito will be killed. Alma then tells Vito to meet Lincoln at the airport to learn more, as he's already there awaiting Vito's arrival. When they're away from anyone who could listen in on their conversation, Lincoln tells Vito he has a friend named John Donovan he's going to introduce him to, hiding in the outskirts of Empire Bay, ready to help Vito and Lincoln with their new mission
Vito gets dressed in one of his signature trench coats with a suit and tie, ready to rain down hell on the Vinci crime family and their allies, and finally be reunited with his lifelong friend he previously thought was dead, Joe Barbaro.
Here is my idea for the kill list, all related to the Commission in Empire Bay and their allies.
- Leo Galante - Top target on the list, Vinci family consigliere who's in with the Commission and the man you thought put Joe in the ground for the past 22 years. Bury this wrinkly old cocksucker.
- Johnny Galante - Vinci family capo and younger relative of Leo's mentioned in Cassandra's ending, possibly Leo's cousin even. John Donovan knows that the two are close, and that Johnny's a valuable asset to Leo's organization. Kill him both to hurt Leo's earn and influence, and to hit him straight in the heart by taking away his family and everyone he loves
- Michele Galante Jr. - Another Vinci family capo, and Leo Galante’s youngest brother. Killing Leo’s little brother will both take away one of his most reliable allies, and leave him stricken with grief and enraged, and more prone to making mistakes.
- Nunzio Galante - Leo’s seasoned older brother by 3 years, and yet another Vinci family capo. He knows enough about smuggling that he worked out an ingenious plan for smuggling military grade weapons into the city. He pays off corrupt officials at Empire Bay International Airport, to allow guns to be loaded inside the walls and floors of planes, unknown to everyone onboard save for the palms the Galantes and Frank Vinci have greased to cooperate and keep quiet. The time has come to put this crafty old bastard in the ground.
- Don Frank Vinci - Frank Vinci is the boss of the Vinci crime family, the family Leo's been a consigliere of for decades, and a lifelong friend of his. Kill Frank, and Leo loses more ground than he could ever imagine, and will be forced to deal with both the loss of his boss, and the loss of his lifelong childhood friend.
- Don Ennio Salieri - Longtime close friend of both Frank Vinci and Leo Galante, Don of the Salieri crime family, and a third party Frank and Leo call in to crush Vito's uprising, when it becomes too big of an issue for Vinci alone to handle. Salieri was eventually able to grease enough palms while behind bars to have his life sentence overturned, and he got released from prison on good behavior in 1953, after he served 15 years of his sentence. He’s since relocated to his main operations to Empire Bay, having already had connections and men present there while he was in prison, backed by the Commission and the Vinci crime family. He's seasoned, but he’s nothing Mr. Scaletta can't handle. Give this tired old fuck the gangland ending he's had coming.
- Isaac - Isaac is the personal assistant to an influential loan shark named Bruno Levine, who handles the money of the Commission, including the Vinci crime family and the Salieri crime family. He does anything from serve his boss coffee, to count incoming and outgoing money for Bruno. Because of his duties, he's aware of Bruno's location at all times. You’ll need to get to Isaac to get information on his boss out of him, and dispose of him afterwards if you want to get to Bruno.
- Bruno Levine - Bruno is a Jewish-American loan shark who kicks up all of his earn to both Frank Vinci and Ennio Salieri, and the Commission in Empire Bay. Killing him kills a lot of earn for the Commission, and they loses a valuable asset. In addition to getting rid of him being practical, to add insult to injury, he gave your father that loan. It's about time to put this asshole out of business.
- Mr. Chu & Mr. Chu Jr. - This old man has been leading the Empire Bay Triads with an iron fist since before you were even born. The bastard has a son too, who eventually went on to become his underboss. The Empire Bay Triads became a close ally of the Vinci crime family, the Salieri crime family, and the Commission shortly after Vito killed Don Carlo Falcone in 1951, forming a lucrative partnership with the Commission. Mr. Chu and his eldest son are valuable assets for Leo Galante who give him extra reach. Melt their iron fists and show these two pricks just who they fucked with.
- Eddie Scarpa - This cocksucker used to be Carlo Falcone's underboss for as long as you could remember. After you whacked Falcone in the fall of 1951, he decided to throw in with Vinci to save his own skin. He took over the smuggling and dock union extortion that fat fuck Derek Pappalardo used to run. You know all too well how to deal with this sorry fuckin' rat.
I'm thinking Vito and Joe work with Lincoln Clay and John Donovan to split up Empire Bay and distribute territory to three other factions not unlike what Lincoln did with New Bordeaux. This time though, this is a much larger city in a much, much different part of the United States. The empire building mechanics would be a lot smoother, more robust, and streamlined compared to Mafia III. They would work similarly a more modernized version of how the hit city sandbox game
Scarface: The World Is Yours handled it's empire building and management mechanics, minus the whole switching to other characters lower on the ladder to do your bidding. This would be ideal for a story rich organized crime game in my opinion. Here are my ideas for those factions, all close allies of the up and coming Scaletta crime family.
The Cuban mob led by Alma Diaz. Vito goes way back with Alma, and she does not hesitate to answer him and Lincoln's calls to save Joe's life and royally fuck both Leo Galante and the Vinci family.
Conti crime family, led by Enzo Conti. This Conti crime family formed sometime in late 1968, months after Lincoln helped Enzo flee New Bordeaux and drop off of Sal Marcano's radar. It turns out he fled north to Empire Bay and finally formed his own family, having more than enough years of experience in the underworld to handle the job. Lincoln's tight with him and manages to recruit him to Vito and Joe's cause.
The Yakuza, based out of Empire Bay's Japantown. Longtime sworn enemies of the Empire Bay Triads, with bad blood going back decades. They would greatly enjoy seeing Mr. Chu and his son's heads mounted on pikes, along with whacking everyone who's ever supported their organization. You don't know them well, and they're known to be very unpredictable and ruthless. Use these traits to your advantage when taking on the Commission of Empire Bay and their friends.
I should mention as expected, this entire 1973 section where you play as Vito is much shorter than Mafia III. Vito's takeover is shown much more quickly over time than Lincoln's, and there's time skips during it, to keep it short and sweet, and to show onscreen only what's important. There is also no option for your underbosses to betray you, as to reduce confusion and keep the story consistently the same each playthrough, like the first two Mafia games. However, unlike Mafia III, after all of these tasks are completed and every single assassination target on Vito’s kill list is dealt with, the game does not end. In fact, it's not even anywhere near close to being over yet. Vito's 1973 section was merely the beginning act. It was really a lead up to an entirely new Mafia story, centering around a newcomer to the American mob. Fast forward two years following Vito’s rampage that led to him taking over Empire Bay and the Commission, in the year 1975 him and Joe now rule Empire Bay, with Vito as the Don of the Scaletta Crime Family, and Joe working as his loyal underboss. You play the rest of the game as a young up and coming soldato named Louis in his 20’s, who’s a rising star in Vito’s organization. Do right by Mr. Scaletta and Mr. Barbaro, understand kid?
My basic idea for the character and his backstory is that he's a young Italian-Canadian mobster from Toronto, Ontario, or whatever Mafia's equivalent of it could be called. Let's call him
Louis DeSimone. His family hails from Tuscany in Italy and moved to Toronto, Ontario in 1939, shortly after World War II broke out in Europe. Louis DeSimone was born in July 1952 in Toronto, and was raised in Toronto's Little Italy. Being northern Italian and hailing from Tuscany, Louis has blond hair and green eyes, making him visually very distinct from past series protagonists, who were all dark haired brunets with brown eyes. Louis fled south to Empire Bay when the feds started cracking down on his old family and put his boss in prison, and he ended up finding a new home with the Scaletta crime family. The first few missions playing as Louis DeSimone involve shooting your away out of an arrest by a Toronto Police Service SWAT team in Toronto in December 1974, seeing the rest of the members of your old crime family either get arrested or shot in front of you as you make your escape. You spend the next two missions fleeing Ontario through Quebec and upstate New York, before finally arriving in Empire Bay in early 1975, late January to be exact. Winter is in full force with snow everywhere, Louis' arrival to Empire Bay for the first time in his life mirroring Vito's return to Empire Bay in 1945 30 years earlier, except under far different much more dire circumstances. Louis' older brother and his father, both capos in his old crime family in Toronto, are shown to be arrested by the TPS SWAT team in his first mission, the same one that attempted to gun him down when he resisted arrested. Louis knows someone had to have ratted out his old crime family, and he wants to find out who someday. The thing is though, he doesn't just want to kill them. He wants to get out of them why they did it before he kills them. More than anything else, he just wants to find out why his crime family was betrayed and served up to the feds on a silver platter, having most of his biological family sent to prison in the process. He’s out to uncover the mystery of why his family fell apart, and he’s more than willing to help people like Don Vito Scaletta and his underboss Joe Barbaro to eventually get the answers he seeks. In the end, he’s not even after revenge primarily, more than that, he wants answers and information regarding the fare of his old crime family, and wants to know why his family fell apart. I came up with the idea for this character because I figured that playing as a fugitive from the law made sense for the mob life, and I'm surprised we haven't had a fugitive protagonist in the Mafia series yet.
In the 1975 chapters while playing as Louis, the Watergate scandal, President Richard Nixon’s resignation, and the official end to the Vietnam War are all discussed on the in-game radio during news segments. In the last 1979 chapter, the beginning of the Soviet-Afghan War is also the subject of a news segment on the radio.
The story eventually transitions into the 1980's as years pass, with the scenery, cars, and music changing accordingly, and historical events of the time discussed in the game. In the 1989 section of the game, the murder of the infamous former Sinclair Parish Sheriff Walter “Slim” Beaumont is mentioned on the in-game radio, as just over 21 years ago Slim and his corruption ring were the top headline of national news. the time the game ends, it's 1992, and significant historical events from the past few years at the time that are covered on the radio in-game include anything from the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Gulf War, the collapse of the Soviet Union, to the 1992 L.A. riots. The rise of the internet and home computers are briefly touched upon during news segments on the in-game radio during the early 1990's section of the story, but not greatly delved into given their relative infancy in that time period.
During this entire 1975-1992 stretch of the story, Vito is no longer playable, and Don Scaletta takes a backseat in the story as a main supporting character, similar to Don Salieri throughout Mafia: Definitive Edition. You now play as the Italian-Canadian Scaletta family soldato Louis DeSimone, who is later promoted to being a capo in 1985. At the end of the game in 1992, Louis is promoted to Consigliere of the Scaletta crime family, and it’s revealed in the epilogue that he became the don of the family in 2006 at the age of 54, and his now released from prison older brother serving as his underboss, and and Enzo Conti’s grandson Giovanni Conti serving as consigliere, taking over from Louis’ previous position which before that belonged to his father and Enzo’s only son, Lorenzo Conti from 1973-1992. It is worth noting that unlike Don Salieri, Don Scaletta has much more integrity, and has more genuine loyalty for his men and his associates. If you've beaten Mafia 1 or Mafia: Definitive Edition, you'll know this is something Salieri lacked in the end. Over time, Louis also goes from having a strictly business relationship with Vito and Joe, to bonding with them and becoming a genuinely close friend and trusted member of the family, seeing Vito as something of a second father, and coming to see Joe as the fun uncle he never had. Another major character development theme is Louis DeSimone adapting and assimilating into Italian-American culture in his new home in the Northeastern US, it seeming like something new mixed with the familiar Italian-Canadian culture he was raised in back in Ontario just north of the border.
The game will include a number of hit music from the 70’s that played on the radio back then, such as
Bobby Womack’s
Across 110th Street and
Tony Christie’s
(Is This the Way to) Amarillo,
The Grateful Dead's
Casey Jones and at least a few songs by the then new American rock band
Cheap Trick, as well as popular songs from the 1960’s people still listened to at the time, such as
Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs’
Wooly Bully,
King Crimson’s
21st Century Schizoid Man, Zager and Evans'
In the Year 2525,
The Zombies'
Time of the Season, and
Nancy Sinatra’s
These Boots Are Made for Walkin'. When you progress through the game, especially after you switch to playing as Louis DeAngelo for the rest of the story, years change, and the music changes. Different songs start playing on the radio, such as
Sylvester's
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real), Randy Crawford's
Street Life, and
The Village People's
Y.M.C.A.,
Cheryl Lynn's
Got to Be Real,
Gloria Gaynor's
I Will Survive, and the
Bee Gees'
Stayin' Alive start playing in the 1979 portion of the game. After you've completed the 1975 section of the game,
Foghat's
Slow Ride starts playing on the radio. Starting in the 1977 section of the game,
Cheap Trick's
I Want You to Want Me and
Heart's
Barracuda start playing on the radio. In the 1980's portion of the game,
Thomas Dolby's songs
Hyperactive! and
She Blinded Me with Science, in addition to
Night Ranger's
Sister Christian also start playing on the radio. If Hangar 13 can afford the licenses, I also think a few
Michael Jackson and
Madonna songs should definitely be on the radio during the 1980's portion of the story, given the immense popularity and regular radio airtime those two had in that decade. If this ended up being possible, I imagine that
Michael Jackson's
Smooth Criminal,
Beat It,
Bad, and
Billie Jean being on the radio in the 80's sections would be a must, Smooth Criminal especially because of how well it suits the series.
Madonna's
Lucky Star,
Burning Up,
Like a Virgin, and
Borderline would also be perfect for the 80's portion of the game to me. Also mentioned by NPCs and civilians in the game are topical events of the time period, such as the release of the groundbreaking 1973 horror film
The Exorcist at the end of Vito's playable portion of the game.
Other music of the 1980's segment when playing as Louis DeAngelo for the remainder of the game includes hits of the era such as
Joe Jackson's
Steppin' Out,
The Buggles'
Video Killed The Radio Star,
Corey Hart's
Sunglasses at Night, Laura Branigan's
Self Control and
Gloria,
The Weather Girls'
It's Raining Men,
A-ha’s
Take On Me,
Men at Work's
Down Under,
Kim Wilde's
Kids in America,
The Gap Band's
You Dropped a Bomb on Me,
Culture Club’s
Karma Chameleon,
Michael Sembello’s
Maniac,
Twisted Sister's
I Wanna Rock and
We're Not Gonna Take It,
Bon Jovi's
Wanted Dead or Alive and
Bad Medicine,
Soft Cell’s
Tainted Love,
Robert Palmer’s
Simply Irresistible,
Rick Astley’s
Together Forever,
Whenever You Need Somebody, and
Never Gonna Give You Up,
Cutting Crew’s
[I Just] Died In Your Arms,
Loverboy's
Working for the Weekend,
Dead or Alive's
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) and
That's the Way (I Like It),
Tiffany’s
I Think We’re Alone Now,
Daryl Hall & John Oates'
Maneater,
Aneka's
Japanese Boy,
Mötley Crüe's
Dr. Feelgood,
Girls, Girls, Girls and
Kickstart My Heart,
Billy Joel's
We Didn't Start the Fire,
Huey Lewis And The News'
Hip To Be Square,
Bill Medley's
(I've Had) The Time of My Life,
The Police's
Every Breath You Take,
Whodini's
Magic's Wand,
Guns ‘N Roses’
Welcome to the Jungle and
Paradise City,
Tears For Fears'
Everybody Wants To Rule The World,
Rockwell's
Somebody's Watching Me,
Regina's
Baby Love,
Nena's
99 Red Balloons,
Earth, Wind, and Fire's
Let's Groove and
September,
Billy Idol's
Eyes Without a Face and
White Wedding,
Rick James’
Give It To Me Baby,
Olivia Newton-John’s
Physical,
The S.O.S. Band’s
Take Your Time (Do It Right),
Kenny Loggins’
Highway to the Danger Zone,
Wham!’s
Everything She Wants,
George Michael's
Careless Whisper,
Toto's
Hold the Line and
Africa,
Blondie's
Heart of Glass and
Atomic, and
Mai Tai's
History.
**Note that not every single year and moment of the 17 year 1975-1992 section playing as Louis DeAngelo is playable or chronicled. My idea is it would be handled similarly to how the time skips in Mafia 1/Mafia: Definitive Edition were handled. Time skips of two or more years, or in this case, even longer such as 4 years sometimes, the game skipping from 1979 to 1983. This is to keep the game and story length ideal, and not risk it getting boring or repetitive, or going on for too long. Repetition was a big problem in Mafia III even if I still thought it was a superb game, so I think it'd be best to learn from that for the next big entry. The games story will skip ahead and show onscreen only what's significant, similar to the first Mafia game and it's remake, as well as certain aspects of Mafia II. Louis starts his section as a 22 year old fugitive soldato who got picked up by another crew south of the Canadian border, and in the epilogue of the game in 1992, is promoted to the consigliere of the Scaletta crime family at the age of 40, being set to take over the family once Vito and Joe become too old to run the day to day on a regular basis. Louis DeSimone is promoted to don of the Scaletta crime family following Vito and Joe being officially retired as of 2006. They’re both still involved and paid huge amounts of money by Louis out of respect, but keep a much lower profile by then since they have handpicked successors and aren’t worried about where the business is going.
The years chronicled in the main gameplay segments are as follows: 1973 1975 1977 1979 1983 1985 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 Much more of the rural areas and countryside outside of Empire Bay are included than what was available in Mafia II. The way rural environments are handled for this hypothetical Mafia IV is akin to how Mafia: Definitive Edition and Mafia III handled their rural environments outside the main cities, except much larger in scale, given the increased power of the current new consoles such as the PS5 and Xbox Series X. This region is based off of upstate New York and the surrounding areas across multiple states in the Northeastern US, and includes forests, fields, mountains, rivers, lakes, beaches, and small towns. Also included are other cities and towns, based off of other large cities in New York like Syracuse, Buffalo, and Rochester, where other story missions, business activities, and side missions take place, along with smaller notable places like Ithaca, Binghamton, and Utica. The entire states of New Jersey, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Delaware, Maryland, and Ohio are also included, including places based off of all of their major cities and most of their notable towns in between. Large portions of Pennsylvania are included as well, including Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Scranton. All of the province of Nova Scotia including the city of Halifax, and Large portions of the eastern half of the Canadian province of Ontario are included as well, including cities based off of Toronto, Ottawa, and Niagara Falls. There's even a small portion of Quebec included, including Montreal and the surrounding countryside of the province outside that city, including a few small towns in southern Quebec. The player must pass a quick border patrol check when crossing the US-Canada border in a car or other ground vehicle.
Wildlife is present in the game, mostly to add to the background, scenery, and immersion in rural environments on the map. These are all animals native to the Northeastern US, ranging from white tailed deer, coyotes, bobcats, Canada lynxes, rabbits, hares, groundhogs, gophers, beavers, raccoons, opossums, bats, chipmunks, red and gray squirrels, mice, and rats to more formidable and potentially dangerous animals that may sometimes attack the player, such as grey wolves, black bears, mountain lions, and moose. These last four animals are known to spawn in the mountainous regions, especially in New York, Ohio, Vermont, Massachusetts, and Ontario, including the rural regions based off of the Catskills and the Adirondack mountains. Dogs are present in the cities, towns, and settlements where humans live and keep them as pets, being walked and sometimes found in people's yards. Some are used as guard dogs by enemies and are aggressive towards the player on sight. Domestic cats are also present in the background of residential areas, and both Louis and Vito own them as pets throughout the game in their safe houses, as well as other onscreen characters we see the homes of throughout the game.
Aircraft make their first usable appearance in the Mafia series too, from airplanes to helicopters.
Vito cannot use planes or helicopters in his playable 1973 portion of the game, as he does not know how to pilot, being a paratrooper in World War II who never actually flew any of the planes himself. Aircraft are unlocked to use when Louis DeSimone gets his pilot’s certificate offscreen in 1977, and at the end of a chapter set that year, Louis has to fly Vito in a helicopter to a penthouse in Downtown Empire Bay acting as a family safe house, equipped with a helipad. Louis frequently serves as a personal driver and pilot for both Vito and Joe afterwards, having done a lot in his time serving the family to earn their trust and respect.
Melee weapons also make a return from Mafia: Definitive Edition, with even more variety this time. In their respective sections of the game, Vito and Louis may use anything from baseball bats, pipes, shovels, brass knuckles, golf clubs, police batons, switchblades, kitchen knives, bowie knives, ice picks, 2x4s, claw hammers, crowbars, tire irons, chain links, machetes, meat cleavers, pickaxes, hatchets, sledgehammers, to fire axes. This amount of melee weapons is so no matter what environment the player finds themselves in during a mission or any other game activity, there is usually a weapon of some sort nearby. If the player has obtained piano wire, you may also strangle an enemy to death with it from behind as a stealth kill, this being a classic assassination method infamous for being used by the Italian Mafia. Rope can also be found and used for similar strangulation stealth kills, appearing in the gameplay environments where piano wire can’t be found. There is a wide variety of new guns and explosives to use in this concept for Mafia IV, going with the new weapons of the time the game takes place that criminals quickly got their hands on. This includes the SPAS-12 combat shotgun, the Beretta 92 pistol, the AK-74 assault rifle, the mini uzi, the MAC-10 submachine gun, both suppressed and unsuppressed variants, the Beretta 92 pistol, the Taurus raging bull revolver, Glock handguns, the TEC-9 machine pistol, illegally modified to be full auto, the Ruger Mini-14 full auto variant, and even Vietnam war era flamethrowers, which I think is only natural given that as of Mafia III, we already have RPGs and grenade launchers. Late in the game from the 1989 section and onwards, the Benelli M3 combat shotgun becomes available. The Milkor MGL grenade launcher becomes available beginning in the 1983 portion of the game. Attached grenade launchers are also available for the AK-47, AK-74, and M16 assault rifles. More advanced rocket launchers of the 1970’s and 1980’s are naturally included as well.
Free ride makes a return in Mafia IV, with the player having the options to change the weather, time period, and an option to play as Louis, Vito, Joe, Lincoln, or John Donovan. Naturally, a multitude of new free ride missions are available as well.
I previously posted a much earlier and less detailed draft of this on the old
Mafia3 subreddit 3 years ago back in 2017 as an idea for a hypothetical Mafia 3 expansion where you play as Vito, but have since updated and revamped it to a possible Mafia IV plot, and fixed any plot holes I noticed and made it much more fleshed out and in depth, and focus on more than just Vito in the end. You may view my original here if you so desire, to compare.
https://www.reddit.com/Mafia3/comments/6sldhp/spoiler_mafia_iii_vito_dlc_basic_plot_idea/ Feel free to give me constructive criticism on this, as I encourage this discourse and believe it is integral to growing and improving, to build upon or improve these ideas I've come up with, or say whether or not you think something like this should happen in the future. Thank you for reading!
submitted by RichterTheRatman to MafiaTheGame [link] [comments]
I have compiled all the data from this sub and broken down who is out and who is still in play, I will update this list daily until the lineup is released.
Edit 4/4: The lineup has dropped, bold denotes acts playing This is a list of acts that are potentially in and are most certainly out for OSLs 2017, I mostly stuck to notable names so that I only had to turn over hundreds of rocks rather than thousands. I intend to update this list via edit from now until the lineup drop (within 30 days at this point I should think). If you want to add someone to this list just comment below and I will modify the list and credit your handle next to the edit.
If you want to find someone in particular quickly I suggest you use ctrl F.
Out due to gigs at AT&T Park/Levi's Stadium in San Francisco and Santa Clara CA (May through November) - U2: Levi's Stadium May 17th
- Mumford & Sons: Levi's Stadium May 17th
- James Taylor: AT&T Park July 29th
- Bonnie Raitt: AT&T Park July 29th
- Lady Gaga: AT&T Park August 13th
- Coldplay: Levi's Stadium October 4th
- Tove Lo: Levi's Stadium October 4th Edit 3/29/17: moved from "Potential undercard" (undeadsinatra)
Out due to gigs at the Oracle arena in Oakland CA (May through November) - E-40: May 20th Edit 3/20/17: added
- Schoolboy Q: May 20th Edit 3/20/17: moved from "potential undercard"
- IAMSU!: May 20th Edit 3/21/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Nef The Pharaoh: May 20th Edit 3/21/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Roger Waters: June 10th
- Tool: Edit 4/3/17: moved from "Potential Undercard" June 21st (BurtCracklin)
- Iron Maiden: July 5th
- Shawn Mendes: July 11th
- J. Cole: July 14th & 15th
- Ed Sheeran August 2nd Edit 3/8/17: moved from "potential undercard" (basedgod94)
- Green Day: August 5th
- Catfish and the Bottlemen: August 5th
- Depeche Mode: October 10th
- Bruno Mars: November 3rd
Out due to gigs at the SAP Center in San Jose CA (May through November) - Chris Brown: May 18th
- 50 Cent: May 18th
- Roger Waters: June 7th
- Queen + Adam Lambert: June 29th
- Bruno Mars: July 20th & 21st
- Daryl Hall & John Oates: July 25th
- Tears for Fears: July 25th
- Depeche Mode: October 8th
Out due to gigs at the Golden One Center in Sacramento CA (May through November) - Lionel Richie: May 2nd
- Mariah Carey: May 2nd
- The Chainsmokers: May 4th
- Kiiara: May 4th
- Chris Brown: May 13th
- 50 Cent: May 13th
- Roger Waters: June 12th
- Tool: June 23 Edit 4/3/17: added
- Bruno Mars: July 18th
- Daryl Hall & John Oates: July 23rd
- Tears for Fears: July 23rd
- John Mayer: July 27th
- Ed Sheeran August 1st Edit 3/8/17: added
- Lady Gaga: August 15th
Out due to gigs at Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View CA (May through November) - Chris Stapleton: June 2nd
- Dead & Company: June 3rd & 4th
- Future: June 15th
- Migos: June 15th
- Tory Lanez: June 15th
- Kodak: June 15th
- Korn (lol): June 22nd
- Train: July 8th
- John Mayer: July 29th
- Steve Miller Band: August 12th Edit 4/1/17
- Jimmy Eat World: August 16th
- Incubus: August 16th
- Kings of Leon: August 24th
- Nathaniel Rateliff & the NightSweats: August 24th Edit 3/17/17: (dml26 from the Coachella forums)
- Cheap Trick: September 2nd Edit 3/22/17
- Nickelback (lol): September 3rd
- Muse: September 15th
- Thirty Seconds to Mars: September 15th
- Sublime with Rome: September 27th Edit 3/15/17: added
- The Offspring: September 27th Edit 3/15/17: added
- Zac Brown Band: October 27th
Out due to gigs at the Concord Pavilion in Concord CA (May through November) - Kidz Bop (lol): June 2nd
- Deftones: July 6th
- Rise Against: July 6th
Out due to gigs at the Greek Theatre in Berkley CA (May through November) - Jean-Michel Jarre: May 26th
- John Legend: May 27th
- Ryan Adams: June 2nd
- Elvis Costello & the Imposters: June 3rd
- Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: June 24th
- Miike Snow: July 1st Edit 3/20/17: added (COAchillENT)
- Phantogram: July 1st Edit 3/20/17: moved from "potential undercard" (COAchillENT)
- Slightly Stoopid: July 22nd
- Iration: July 22nd Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- J Boog: July 22nd Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- The Movement: July 22nd Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Third Eye Blind: July 23rd
- Jack Johnson: July 26th & 27th
- Portugal. the Man: July 28th
- Local Natives: July 28th
- Hans Zimmer: August 9th Edit 4/3/17: added (mknap24)
- Primus: August 18th Edit 3/20/17: added (COAchillENT)
- Clutch: August 18th Edit 3/20/17: added
- Willie Nelson & Friends: August 19th Edit 3/23/17: added
- Rancid: August 20th
- Dropkick Murphys: August 20th
- Mac Demarco: September 8th
Out due to gigs at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco CA (May through November) - The Chainsmokers: May 5th & 6th
- Kiiara: May 5th & 6th
- Kyle: May 6th Edit 3/23/17: added
- At the Drive in: May 12th
- Martin Garrix: May 17th to 19th Edit 3/17/17: added (siberian_huskies)
- DreamSTATE: May 27th & 28th
- Kehlani: June June 17th
- Run the Jewels: July 22nd
- Slayer: August 9th
- Lamb of God: August 9th
Out due to gigs at the Masonic in San Francisco CA (May through November) - Brandi Carlile: May 6th
- Dan TDB: May 7th
- PJ Harvey: May 9th
- Modest Mouse: May 27th
- Julieta Venegas: June 1st
- Duran Duran: July 8th
- Natalie Merchant: July 20th
- Adam Ant: September 29th
Out due to gigs at the Fox theater in Oakland CA (May through November) - Flogging Molly: May 4th Edit 3/15/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- White Buffalo: May 4th Edit 3/15/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Old Crow Medicine Show: May 6th
- The Flaming Lips: May 10th
- Conor Oberst: May 12th
- Julien Baker: May 12th Edit 3/22/17: added
- The Jesus and Mary Chain: May 20th
- Midnight Oil: May 27th
- Trey Songz: June 2nd Edit 3/22/17: added
- King Crimson: June 16th & 17th Edit 3/22/17: added second date
- Seu Jorge: June 24th Edit 3/22/17: added
- Duran Duran: July 7th Edit 3/22/17: added
- All Time Low: July 8th
- The Decemberists: August 17th Edit 3/27/17: added (COAchillENT)
- Sylvan Esso: August 22nd & 23rd Edit 3/22/17: added second date
- Elbow: November 13th
Edit 4/3/17 (
undeadsinatra) added:
Out due to gigs at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga CA (May through November - The Moody Blues: June 6th
- Sheryl Crow w. Margaret Glaspy: June 10th
- John Mellencamp w. Emmylou Harris, Carlene Carter and Lily & Madeleine: June 13th
- King Crimson: June 15th
- TajMo: The Taj Mahal & Keb' Mo' Band: June 16th
- The Specials: June 17th
- Gordon Lightfoot: June 18th
- Ziggy Marley: June 20th
- Andrew Bird: June 30th (moved from "potential undercard")
- Martina McBride: July 2nd
- Blondie & Garbage w. John Doe & Exene Cervenka: July 5th (Blondie moved form "potential undercard)
- Chris Isaak: July 9th
- Happy Together Tour 2017- The Turtles featuring Flo & Eddie, Chuck Negron formerly of Three Dog Night, The Association, The Cowsills, The Box Tops, The Archies & Ron Dante: July 12th
- The Roots: July 13th
- The Temptations/The Four Tops: July 14th
- Lyle Lovett & His Large Band: July 18th
- Natalie Merchant: July 19th
- 2CELLOS: July 20th
- Retro Futura: featuring Howard Jones, The English Beat, Men Without Hats, Modern English, Paul Young & Katrina.: July 21st
- R&B Remix Tour featuring Bobby Brown, After 7 & Tony Toni Tone: July 22nd
- Kool & The Gang & The Village People: July 23rd
- Buddy Guy & Johnny Lang: July 29th
- Frankie Valley & The Four Seasons: July 29th
- Violent Femmes / Echo & The Funnymen: July 30th
- The Band Perry: August 1st
- Diana Krall: August 2nd
- Morris Day & The Time, Zapp & Lakeside: August 3rd
- Rodrigo y Gabriela: August 4th
- ABBA tribute act: August 6th
- Boz Scaggs / Michael McDonald: August 8th
- Jake Owen w. Drew Baldridge: August 9th
- Huey Lewis & The News: August 12th
- Jill Scott: August 13th
- Wille Nelson & Kacey Musgraves: August 15th (Kacey Musgraves moved from "potential undercard")
- Gregory Alan Isakov / Blind Pilot: August 16th
- Seal: August 17th
- Beatles tribute band: August 18th
- The Chick Corea Elektric Band / Bela Fleck & The Flecktones: August 19th
- Brian Ferry w Judith Owen: August 21st
- St. Paul & The Broken Bones / Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue: August 22nd
- Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo / TOTO: August 23d
- Pink Martini: August 24th
- Kamasi Washington: August 25th
- Lake Street Dive: August 26th
- Dwight Yoakum with The Blasters & King Leg: August 27th
- Yes: August 28th
- ZZ Top & The Doobie Brothers: August 29th (ZZ Top moved from "potential undercard")
- Chicago: August 30th
- Lost 80's Live - featuring Tony Hadley formerly of Spandau Ballet, Cutting Crew, Wang Chung, Berlin, The Flirts, Naked Eyes, Missing Persons, The Motels & Pretty Poison.: September 2nd
- I Love The 90's Tour featuring Salt-N-Pepa, Color Me Badd, O-Town & Young MC.: September 3rd
- Steve Winwood.: September 5th
- George Benson / Kenny G: September 7th
- Indigo Girls: Septmeber 8th
- The Gipsy Kings: Septmber 10th
- Café Tacuba: September 14th (moved from "potential undercard")
- Tribal Seeds / Pepper: September 16th
- Il Divo: September 17th
- Michael Franti & Spearhead: September 19th
- The Beach Boys: September 22nd
- Adam Ant: September 28th
- The Mavericks w. special guest JD McPherson: October 7th
- Brian Wilson Performs Pet Sounds: October 13th (moved from "potential headliners")
Out due to gigs at the Warfield in San Francisco CA (May through November) - Rodriguez: May 25th
- Bush: June 1st
- Streetlight Manifesto: June 29th
- Kansas: September 12th Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
Out due to gigs at the Fillmore in San Francisco CA (May through November) - Willie Nelson & Family: May 2nd-6th
- Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness: May 7th
- Atlas Genius: May 7th
- Aimee Mann: May 12th
- Jonathan Coulton: May 12th
- Wale: May 13th
- Sammy Hagar: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Pat Benatar: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: Moved from "Potential Undercard" (undeadsinatra)
- Neil Giraldo: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Don Felder: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Mick Fleetwood: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Dave Grohl: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Viv Johnson: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Sarah McLachlan: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Steve Vai: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Bob Weir: May 15th Edit 3/28/17: Moved from "Potential Undercard" (undeadsinatra)
- Dustbowl Revival: May 20th
- The Mountain Goats: June 1st & 2nd
- Seether: June 5th
- Vulfpeck: June 6th & 7th
- Corinne Bailey Rae June 8th Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
- Hurray for the Riff Raff: June 11th
- The Record Company: June 16th
- Cat Power: June 25th Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
- The Revolution July 11th-12th Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
- The Psychedelic Furs (with Robyn Hitchcock): July 25th Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
- Toad the Wet Sprocket: August 3rd Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
- Alison Moyet: September 25th Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
- Saint Etienne (October 4th) Edit 4/3/17: added (amwoods13)
Out due to playing Bottlerock in Napa CA (May 26th-28th, this is just the first several lines) - Foo Fighters
- Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
- Maroon 5
- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
- Modest Mouse
- Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
- The Roots
- Silversun Pickups
- Band of Horses
- Fitz & the Tantrums
- Dirty Heads
- Live
- The Naked and Famous
- The Devil Makes three
- Michael Franti & Spearhead
- Gavin Degraw
- St. Lucia
- House of Pain
- Bob Moses
- Catfish & the Bottlemen
- Saint Motel
- The Strumbellas
- Alunageorge
- Galactic Edit 3/20/17: added
- Con Brio Edit 3/20/17: added
- Charles Bradley and his Extraordinaires Edit 3/22/17: added
Out due to playing Santa Cruz American music festival in Santa Cruz CA (May 27th & 28th) - Melissa Etheridge
- Devil Makes Three
- The Rides (Stephen Still, Kenny Wayne Shepherd & Barry Goldberg)
- Mavis Staples
- JJ Grey & Mofro
- The Wood Brothers
- The Record Company
- The Brothers Comatose
- Baskery
- Barns Courtney
Out due to playing Colossal Clusterfest in San Francisco CA (June 2nd-4th) - Ice Cube
- Tegan and Sara
- Chromeo
- Lil Dicky
- Ty Segall
- Vince Staples
- Lizzo
- Preservation Hall Jazz Band
- Jidenna
Out due to playing Phono Del Sol Music and Food Festival in San Francisco CA (June 17th) - Thee Oh Sees
- The Coathangers
- Jay Som
- Sean Hayes
Out due to playing Id1ot Fest in Mountain View CA (June 24th & 25th) - Weezer
- Girl Talk
- TV on the Radio
- Madeon
- Zeds Dead
- OK GO
- Lord Huron
- Car Seat Headrest
- The Mowgli's
- Ron Gallo
- Animal Collective
- Crystal Castles
- Robert Delong
- Mothers
- Jai Wolf
- Troyboi
Out due to playing Burger Boogaloo in Oakland CA (July 1st & 2nd) - Buzz Cock
- X
- John Waters
- Guitar Wolf
- NRBQ
- Edit 3/8/17: Iggy Pop (moved from potential undercard)
Out due to playing San Jose Jazz Summer Fest in San Jose CA (same weekend as OSLs) - George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
- Dr. Lonnie Smith Trio
- Angelique Kidjo
- Chris Botti
- Maceo Parker
- The Whispers
Out due to playing Flow festival in Finland (same weekend as OSLs) - Lana Del Rey
- Aphex Twin
- Young Thug
- Car Seat Headrest
- The xx
- Flume
- Sampha
- Frank Ocean
- Ryan Adams
- Moderat
- Vince Staples
- Angel Olsen
- Jenny Hval
- Sparks
- Edit (amwoods13) 3/30/17 added: London Grammar
Out due to playing Boardmasters festival in the UK (same weekend as OSLs) - Two Door Cinema Club
- The Flaming Lips
- Jagwar Ma
- Gorgon City
- Jake Bugg
- Pete Tong
- Alt-J Edit Contested by mknap24 on 3/8/17 to be put back in the "potential undercard".
- Stormzy
- Ziggy Marley
- Hot Since 82
- Edit (omik11) 3/12/17 added: Tourist
Out due to playing Way out West festival in Sweden (same weekend as OSLs) - Angel Olsen
- Chance the Rapper
- Danny Brown
- Feist
- Frank Ocean
- Lana Del Rey
- Mac Demarco
- Major Lazer
- Pixies
- Ryan Adams
- The Black Madonna
- The Shins
- The XX
- Thee Oh Sees
- Young Thug
Out due to playing Smukfest in Denmark (same weekend as OSLs) - DJ Snake
- Ellie Goulding
- Major Lazer
- Mark Ronson
- Alesso
Out due to playing Oya Festival in Norway (same weekend as OSLs) - M0
- Vince Staples
- Car Seat Headrest
- Pixies
- The Shins
- Cashmere Cat
- Angel Olsen
Out due to playing SonneMondSterne Festival in Germany (same weekend as OSLs) - Major Lazer
- Steve Aoki
- Marshmello
- Galantis
- Dillion Francis
- Boys Noize
- Zeds Dead
- Martin Garrix
- Edit 4/3/17 added: Bloody Beetroots
Out due to playing Boomtown Fair in the UK (same weekend as OSLs) - M.I.A
- Cypress Hill
- Sublime with Rome
- The Original Blues Brothers Band
- Ziggy Marley
- Toots & the Maytals
- Edit 3/8/17 added: The Specials
Out due to playing Haven Festival in Denmark (same weekend as OSLs) - Band of Horses
- Beach house
- Chance the Rapper
- Conor Oberst
- Feist
- Iggy Pop
- SBTRKT
- The National
Probably out due to Sziget Festival in Hungary (same weekend as OSLs, note that this festival is seven days long and therefore it is possible that some of the names below will make it to OSLs, we'll know more when the day by day breakdown comes out) - Kasabian
- Major Lazer
- Flume
- PJ Harvey
- Interpol
- Two Door Cinema Club
- Charli XCX
- George Ezra
- The Kills
- Steve Aoki
- Bad Religion
- the Pretty Reckless
- DJ Shadow
- Danny Brown
- Crystal Fighters
- Mac Demarco
- The Naked and Famous
- Oh Wonder
- Cashmere Cat
- Edit added 3/8/17: Alt-J Edit Contested by mknap24 on 3/8/17 to be put back in the "potential undercard".
The following are acts that were in the first six lines of OSLs in 2015 and 2016 that are not already ruled out above and can safely be assumed out for this year. Headliners - Radiohead (2016)
- LCD Soundsystem (2016)
- Elton John (2015)
- The Black Keys (2015)
2016 - Duran Duran
- Zedd
- Major Lazer
- Air
- Sufjan Stevens
- Miguel
- Halsey
- Big Grams (Big Boi + Phantogram)
- Grimes
- Jason Isbell
- Miike Snow
- Kehlani
- The Last Shadow Puppets
- Griz
- Brandi Carlile
- Thomas Jack
- Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats
- Foals
- Jauz
- The Claypool Lennon Delirium
- Years & Years
- Edit (scrubbub) 3/7/17: Whitney (moved from potential undercard)
- Edit (spiderman49) 3/7/17: Snakehips (moved from potential undercard)
- Edit (Vasoline Groove on the Coachella forums) 3/16/17: added: Anderson .Paak
- Edit 3/20/17: added: Con Brio
- Edit 3/24/17: Lettuce (moved from potential undercard)
- Edit (scrubbub) 3/29/17: The Wombats
- Edit 4/3/17: Tokimonsta
2015 - Sam Smith
- Kendrick Lamar
- Wilco
- Axwell & Ingrosso
- Tame Impala
- D'Angelo and the Vanguard
- St. Vincent
- Porter Robinson
- Billy Idol
- G-Eazy
- Hot Chip
- Caribou
- Milky Chance
- Chet Faker
- Nate Ruess
- Odesza
- First Aid Kit
- Toro Y Moi
- RL Grime
- Lake Street Dive
- George Ezra
- Iration
- Glass Animals
- Alex Bleeker & the Freaks
- Edit 3/8/17 added: Amon Tobin
Others that are out - Neil Young + Crazy Horse: Taking 2017 off (except for Bridge probably): https://www.jambase.com/article/report-neil-young-not-touring-in-2017
- Dave Matthews (and Band): Taking 2017 off: https://www.jambase.com/article/dave-matthews-band-announces-summer-tour-2017-hiatus
- Beyoncé: While she will have had her babies by the time OSLs rolls around it would be a real snub to Coachella if she played any other festivals after her cancelation, despite her now playing Coachella 2018.
- Billy Joel: Billy has a show in Chicago the Friday of OSLs, while it is possible that he could play Saturday or Sunday it would seem that he never plays a show without a few days off in between.
- Van Morrison: Playing gigs in Ireland the Saturday and Sunday of OSLs.
- Badbadnotgood: Playing Haldern Pop Festival in Germany that weekend
- Buddy Guy: Playing Thunder Valley Casino on July 29th, it's close enough that it probably rules him out and it wouldn't make much sense to hang around for two weeks or leave and come back for OSLs.
- Guns N' Roses: Playing a show in NC on Friday and PA on Sunday.
- Edit (b18Researcher) added 3/7/17: Midland: Playing Houghton Festival in the UK
- Edit added 3/8/17: Benny Benassi: Playing France on Saturday.
- Edit (undeadsinatra) Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/10/17: Pet Shop Boys: Playing Croatia Saturday.
- Edit (COAchillENT) Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/13/17: Morning Jacket: Playing three gigs in a row on 8/10, 8/11, and 8/12 in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts respectively.
- Edit Moved from "Potential Headliners" 3/13/17: Paul McCartney: No new material since 2013 appearance.
- Edit Moved from "Potential Headliners" 3/13/17: Stevie Wonder: No new material since 2012 appearance.
- Edit (undeadsinatra) added 3/15/17: DJ Mustard: Doing a residency at 1015 Folsom in San Francisco.
- Edit (undeadsinatra) added 3/15/17: Metro Boomin: Doing a residency at 1015 Folsom in San Francisco.
- Edit Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/15/17: Cut Copy: No new material since 2014 appearance.
- Edit Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/15/17: Vance Joy: No new material since 2014 appearance.
- Edit Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/15/17: Yeah Yeah Yeahs: No new material since 2013 appearance.
- Edit added 3/16/17: St. Paul & the Broken Bones: Playing in Rohnert Park CA on August 24th.
- Edit added 3/20/17: David Lindley : playing Yoshi's in Oakland CA on May 29th.
- Edit (COAchillENT) Moved from "Potential Headliners" 3/21/17: Phish: They announced tour dates and there was a note stating "No additional summer or fall dates will be announced".
- Edit Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/21/17: Motor City Drum Ensemble: In the UK on the Saturday of OSLs.
- Edit (ChristianDavid1) Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/22/17: The Decemberists: they're starting their own festival OSLs weekend, with blackjack and hookers.
- Edit added 3/23/17: Sun Kil Moon: Playing Palace of the Fine Arts May 25th
- Edit added 3/23/17: Magik*Magik: Playing Palace of the Fine Arts May 25th
- Edit (Playtek) Moved from "Potential Undercard" 3/27/17: Phoenix: Playing Indonesia the same weekend as OSLs.
- Edit (mknap24) added 3/29/17: P!nk: Playing Germany during OSLs weekend.
- Edit added 4/2/17: Lil Wayne: Playing Germany during OSLs Weekend.
Edit 3/11/17 added:
The following are acts that played bay area gigs the same year as an OSLs appearance 2016 - Grimes: Played the Fox Theater in Oakland on April 20th Edit 3/10/17: added (bobfrancis31)
- Kamasi Washington: Played the Independent in San Francisco on February 25th: added (bobfrancis31)
- Kehlani: Played KMEL Summer Jam at the Oracle Arena in Oakland on June 12th Edit 3/10/17: added (basedgod94)
- The Knocks: Played the Independent in San Francisco from February 9th to the 11th Edit 3/10/17: added (bobfrancis31)
- Miike Snow: Played the Independent in San Francisco on April 13th & 14th Edit 3/11/17: added
- St. Lucia: Played the Independent in San Francisco on March 6th Edit 3/10/17: added (bobfrancis31)
- Vince Staples: Played Noise Pop at the Independent in San Francisco on February 27th Edit 3/10/17: added (bobfrancis31)
- The Last Shadow Puppets: Played the Fillmore in San Francisco on April 17th Edit 3/16/17: added (LucyBlotter)
2015 - G Eazy: Played KMEL Summer Jam at the Oracle Arena in Oakland on June 13th Edit 3/10/17: added (basedgod94)
- Lindsey Stirling: Played the Greek in Oakland August 8th Edit 4/3/17: added (bobfrancis31)
2014 - Chromeo: Played the Independent in San Francisco on April 12th Edit 3/10/17: added (bobfrancis31)
Edit 3/13/17 added:
The following is a list of returnees and the gaps between return performances Headliners - Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers 08 & 14 (six year gap)
- Radiohead 08 & 16 (eight year gap)
- The Black Keys 08, 11, & 15 (first two appearance not as headliner and the only act to appear three times thus far)
No gap Three year gap - Arctic Monkeys 11 & 14
- Dawes 10 & 13
- Foals 13 & 16
- Grouplove 11 & 14
- Lyrics Born 08 & 11
- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 11 & 14
- Nicki Bluhm & the Gramblers 11 & 14
- Phoenix 10 & 13
- Portugal. The Man 09 & 12
- Pretty Lights 10 & 13
- Tame Impala 12 & 15
- Zedd 13 & 16
Four year gap - Andrew Bird 08 & 12
- Band of Horses 09 & 13
- Beck 08 & 12
- Caveman 12 & 16
- Chromeo 10 & 14
- Matt and Kim 09 & 13
- The National 09 & 13
- Regina Spektor 08 & 12
- Sean Hayes 08 & 12
- Toro Y Moi 11 & 15
- Two Gallants 08 & 12
- The Walkmen 08 & 12
Five year gap - Atmosphere 09 & 14
- The Devil Makes Three 10 & 15
- Lord Huron & 11 & 16
- Major Lazer 11 & 16
- The Mother Hips 08 & 13
Seven year gap - Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals 08 & 15
Eight year gap The following are acts that are still in play that have been mentioned in this sub since January 1st, this does not mean that every name below is necessarily likely so much as not eliminated. Potential Headliners - Adele
- Arcade Fire (Arcade Fire Tube tweeted the band let slip they'll be coming to Montreal in the Autumn/Fall) Edit 3/17/17: reasons for probability added (mknap24)
- Aretha Franklin Edit 3/8/17: added
- Bjork
- Blink 182 Edit 3/21/17: added
- Bob Dylan (and his band)
- Bon Jovi Edit 3/13/17: added (optimize375)
- Bruce Springsteen (and the E Street band)
- The Cure Edit 3/17/17: added
- Daft Punk (lol)
- David Gilmour Edit 3/8/17: added
- Dr. Dre
- Drake
- The Eagles Edit 3/22/17: added (gmoney679)
- Eminem
- Eric Clapton
- Fleetwood Mac
- Florence and the Machine Edit 3/16/17: added (Southpaw27 on the Coachella forums)
- Gorillaz
- Imagine Dragons Edit 3/8/17: added (I hope not)
- Jack White
- Jay Z
- Jeff Lynne (ELO) Edit 3/8/17: added
- Justin Timberlake
- Kanye West Edit 4/2/17: added (blacktwigs)
- Katy Perry Edit 3/21/17: added (nachosyo)
- The Killers Edit 3/22/17: added
- The Lonely Island Edit 4/3/17: added (basedgod94)
- Metallica (Tour Schedule and comment at their last SF show) Edit 3/9/17: reasons for probability added (hotshots2)
- Missy Elliott Edit 3/21/17: added
- Nine Inch Nails (unsure of headliner status due to low turnout in 2013)
- Outkast Edit 3/30/17: added (PatrickCassidy23)
- Paul Simon Edit 3/8/17: added
- Pearl Jam
- Phil Collins (Possible Genesis reunion) Edit 3/10/17 added possible Genesis reunion (COAchillENT).
- Red Hot Chili Peppers Edit 3/8/17: added
- Rihanna Edit 3/13/17: added (aaapod)
- Robert Plant
- Sting Edit 3/16/17: added
- The Strokes
- A Tribe Called Quest (billed as undercard)
- Twenty One Pilots
- Usher
- Van Halen Edit 3/17/17: added (Jankster36 from the Coachella forums)
- The Weeknd (Tour Schedule and headlining Roo which usually shares one headliner with OSL) Edit 3/9/17: reasons for probability added (hotshots2)
- The Who Edit 3/8/17: added Edit 3/13/17: added reason for likeliness: Playing Las Vegas on August 11th (bobfrancis31)
Potential Undercard - The 1975
- 21 Savage Edit 4/2/17: added (mileslwayne)
- A-Trak Edit 3/8/17: corrected spelling (donofkings_)
- Action Bronson Edit 3/29/17: added (freckledbeast)
- AFI Edit 3/8/17: added
- Alabama Shakes Edit 3/8/17: added
- Alice Smith Edit 3/20/17: added
- Amine
- Amos Lee Edit 3/11/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Andy Grammer Edit 3/20/17: added
- Arca Edit 3/22/17: added
- The Arcs Edit 3/12/17: added (Stayedgyyy)
- Ardalan Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- Atmosphere Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- The Avalanches
- Avett Brothers Edit 3/11/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- A$AP Mob (all members are available)
- Banks
- Bassnectar
- Bastille Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Beck
- Belle and Sebastian
- Bennie Maupin Ensemble Edit 3/20/17: added
- Big Body Bes Edit 3/29/17: added (sungod_drunkxxx)
- Big Gigantic
- Bleachers
- Bloc Party Edit 3/8/17: added
- Blood Orange Edit 3/26/17: added (Stayedgyyy)
- Bloody Beetroots Edit 4/1/17: added (MedicineMan323)
- Body Count Edit 3/30/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Bon Iver
- Bonobo
- Brand New
- Breakbot
- Broken Social Scene
- Cage the Elephant
- Cake Edit 3/8/17: added
- Caleborate Edit 3/28/17: added (Teflon-Ron)
- Calvin Harris Edit 3/8/17: added (optimize375)
- Cap'n Jazz Edit 3/21/17: added (mileslwayne)
- Carole King Edit 3/21/17: added (expowderpuff)
- Cee Lo Green Edit 3/8/17: added
- Cherry Glazerr Edit 3/27/17: added (kingreynoso)
- Chevelle
- Childish Gambino
- Christian Martin Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- Chvrches Edit 3/28/17: added (myobiyuki)
- Claude VonStroke Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- Coheed and Cambria Edit 3/8/17: added
- Cold War Kids
- Common Edit 3/8/17: added
- Country Joe McDonald Edit 3/31/17: added (amwoods13)
- Damian 'Jr Gong' Marley Edit 3/8/17: added
- Dan Auerbach
- David Guetta Edit 3/9/17: added (optimize375)
- Dawes Edit 3/11/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Day Wave
- De La Soul Edit 3/8/17: added
- Deadmou5 Edit 3/8/17: added
- Death Cab for Cutie Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- Death from Above 1979
- Death Grips Edit 3/9/17: added (Brew_Swillis)
- Def Leppard Edit 3/22/17: added (spiderman49)
- Denzel Curry Edit 3/8/17: added (basedgod94)
- Descendents Edit 3/8/17: added
- Detroit Swindle Edit 3/7/17: added (b18Researcher)
- Devendra Banhart Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Die Antwoord
- Disclosure Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- DJ Khaled Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- DJ Shadow (not likely due to Sziget fest)
- Domo Genesis Edit 3/25/17: added (mizupman24)
- Don Henley Edit 3/28/17: added (dietstache)
- Donovan Edit 3/31/17: added (amwoods13)
- D.R.A.M Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Dr. Dog Edit 3/10/17: added (MalledbyJesus)
- The-Dream
- DREAMCAR Edit 3/9/17: added (KeybordKat)
- Duke Dumont
- Earl Sweatshirt Edit 3/25/17: added (mizupman24)
- Ekali Edit 3/27/17: added (jonnytsunami22)
- Empire of the Sun
- Erykah Badu Edit 3/27/17: added (kingreynoso)
- Explosions in the Sky Edit 3/8/17: added
- Father John Misty
- Fetty Wap
- Fleet Foxes
- Flight Facilities
- Floating Points Edit 3/12/17: added (Stayedgyyy)
- Flying Lotus
- Foster the people Edit 3/8/17: added
- Four Tet Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Francis and the Lights
- Franz Ferdinand
- Future Islands (highly likely as pointed out by sungod_drunkxxx and mknap24 on 3/28/17 because OSLs used their most recent single in a promo).
- Gary Clark Jr.
- The Glitch Mob Edit 3/8/17: added
- Gojira
- Grace Mitchell Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Gramatik Edit 3/8/17: added (donofkings_)
- Grandaddy Edit 3/21/17: added (bhorn86)
- The Grouch
- Grouplove Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- The Growlers Edit 3/8/17: added (mknap24)
- Gucci Mane Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- HAIM Edit 3/28/17: added (kaityrawr)
- Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam Edit 3/19/17: added (sadjebbush)
- The Head and the Heart
- Hop Along Edit 3/21/17:
- Hotelier Edit 3/29/17: (IrateDesperado)
- How to Dress Well
- Hunee Edit 3/7/17: added (b18Researcher)
- Ice-T Edit 3/30/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Infected Mushroom Edit 3/8/17: added
- Isaiah Rashad
- J. Phlip Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- Jackson Browne Edit 3/22/17: added (blackhawksfan12)
- James Blake
- James Murphy
- Jamtown Feat. Donovan Frankenreiter, G. Love & Cisco Adler Edit 3/20/17: added
- Japandroids
- Jay Rock
- Jeff Beck Edit 3/17/17: added
- Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra Edit 3/20/17: added
- Jeremih
- Jet
- Joey Bada$$ 3/24/17: added (donofkings_)
- John Fogerty Edit 3/13/17: added (MattressMan71)
- John Mayall Edit 3/20/17: added
- John Prine Edit 3/8/17: added
- John Talabot Edit 3/22/17: added
- Jon Bellion
- Joywave
- Jungle Edit 4/3/17: added (russell949)
- Justice
- Justin Martin Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- Kamaiyah Edit 3/26/17: added (basedgod94)
- Kaskade
- Kaytranada
- Kenny Loggins Edit 4/3/17: added (zamest88)
- Kid Cudi
- Kill Frenzy Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard Edit 3/12/17: added (Stayedgyyy)
- King Krule Edit 3/21/17: added
- Knife Party Edit 3/8/17: added
- Kraftwerk Edit 3/8/17: added
- Kris Kristofferson Edit 3/8/17: added
- KSHMR
- Kygo
- The Lemon Twigs Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Leon Vynehall Edit 3/7/17: added (b18Researcher)
- Liam Gallagher
- Lido Edit 3/9/17: added (litness19)
- Lil Uzi Vert
- Lil Yachty
- Limp Bizkit (lol)
- Little Dragon Edit 3/8/17: added
- Logic
- Lorde
- Louis the Child Edit 3/9/17: added (litness19)
- Lucy Dacus Edit 3/29/17: added (sadjebbush)
- Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real Edit 3/20/17: added
- The Lumineers
- Lupe Fiasco Edit 3/16/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- M83 Edit 4/2/17: added (OMYXP)
- Mac Miller
- Maggie Rogers Edit 3/30/17: added (holocene22)
- Majid Jordan Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Manchester Orchestra
- Mark Ronson
- Masego
- Mark Pritchard
- Matisyahu Edit 3/8/17: added
- Matoma
- Maxwell Edit 3/27/17: added (kingreynoso)
- Mayer Hawthorne Edit 4/3/17: added (russell949)
- Mayhem Edit 3/29/17: added (sungod_drunkxxx)
- The Meters Edit 3/20/17: added
- Metric Edit 3/8/17: added
- MGMT
- Mick Jenkins Edit 3/9/17: added (litness19)
- Mighty Oaks Edit 3/29/17: added (optimize375)
- Mike & the Mechanics Edit 3/12/17: added (MattressMan71)
- Mitski
- Moby Edit 3/8/17: added
- Morrissey Edit 3/8/17: added
- Ms. Lauryn Hill Edit 3/25/17: added (mizupman24)
- Mura Masa
- Mutemath Edit 4/3/17: added (russell949)
- Nas Edit 3/8/17: added
- Neko Case Edit 3/8/17: added
- New Order
- The New Pornographers Edit 4/3/17: added (sadjebbush)
- NGHTMRE Edit 3/9/17: added (litness19)
- Nicolas Jaar
- NK Edit 3/20/17: added
- Noel Gallagher
- Noel Gallager's High Flying Birds: Edit 3/19/17: added (endroit)
- Noname Edit 3/27/17: added (kingreynoso)
- Norah Jones Edit 3/8/17: added
- Ozomatli Edit 3/8/17: added
- Passion Pit Edit 3/8/17: added
- A Perfect Circle
- Peter Bjorn and John Edit 3/8/17: added
- Pharrell Williams Edit 3/8/17: added
- Polish Ambassador
- Post Malone Edit 3/30/17: added (sabopper)
- Preoccupations Edit 3/21/17: added
- Pretty Lights Edit 3/8/17: added (donofkings_)
- The Prodigy Edit 3/8/17: added
- Purity Ring
- Queens of the Stone Age
- Rae Sremmurd Edit 3/8/17: added
- Rag'n'Bone Man Edit 3/31/17: added (kick_in_the_door)
- Ratatat
- Ray Lamontagne Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- Real Estate
- The Revivalists Edit 3/20/17: added
- Rick Springfield Edit 3/23/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Ride Edit 3/28/17: added (stereoblabber)
- Ringo Starr & His All Starr Band Edit 3/22/17: added
- Roy Ayers Edit 3/20/17: added
- Royal Blood Edit 3/27/17: added (JuliaBee)
- Royal Jelly Jive Edit 3/28/17: added (BenderIsGreatBendr)
- Royksopp
- San Holo Edit 3/27/17: added (jonnytsunami22)
- Santana Edit 3/22/17: added
- Savages Edit 3/8/17: added
- Seun Kuti & the Egypt 80 Edit 3/21/17: added (COAchillENT)
- Shakey Graves Edit 3/22/17: added (ChristianDavid1)
- Shovels and Rope Edit 3/11/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Sigur Ros Edit 3/8/17: added
- Silent Pilot Edit 3/26/17: added (spiderman49)
- Skrillex Edit 3/8/17: added
- Sleep Edit 3/21/17: added
- Sleigh Bells Edit 3/8/17: added (basedgod94)
- Slowdive Edit 3/16/17: added (matado on the Coachella forums)
- Smashing Pumpkins Edit 3/8/17: added (JustErick)
- Snoop Dogg
- SOHN Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Solange
- SoMo Edit 3/18/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Soulwax Edit 3/31/17: added (TupacShabiggie)
- Soundgarden Edit 3/8/17: added
- Spoon Edit 3/8/17: contested and moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" by (RoonilWazilbob) due to tour gap and new album.
- Steely Dan Edit 3/22/17: added
- Stevie Nicks Edit 3/22/17: added
- The Story so Far Edit 3/26/17: added (basedgod94)
- String Cheese Incident (Unless they are playing a set Friday and a set Sunday at Summermeltdown)
- Sturgill Simpson
- Super Furry Animals Edit 4/2/17: added (Lindanoche)
- System of a Down Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Tacocat
- Ta-ku Edit 4/1/17: added (Pm_me_celebs)
- Talaboman Edit 3/22/17: added
- Taylor Bennett Edit 3/14/17: added (litness19)
- Tedeschi Trucks Band Edit 3/11/17: contested and moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" by (undeadsinatra) due to tour and new album.
- Temper Trap Edit 3/29/17 (Nqoba4)
- Thievery Corporation Edit 3/8/17: added
- Thundercat Edit 3/10/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- T.I. Edit 3/30/17: added (jonnytsunami22)
- Tim Hecker
- Travis Scott
- Tycho Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- Tyler the Creator
- Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats Edit 3/12/17: added (Stayedgyyy)
- Underworld Edit 3/8/17: added
- Valerie June Edit 3/13/17: moved from "Out due to OSLs 2014" due to new material and tour since last OSLs appearance.
- Vampire Weekend Edit 3/13/17: added (coolch1ck)
- Vanic Edit 3/27/17: added (jonnytsunami22)
- The War on Drugs Edit 3/31/17: added (joe_gw)
- Warpaint Edit 3/27/17: added (editorinchimp)
- Waters Edit 3/10/17: added by (dundeeslapped) despite having played in 2015 due to new album coming out in June.
- Wavves Edit 3/27/17: added by (RooneyChoo)
- What So Not Edit 3/15/17: added (DonkeyLightning)
- William Bell Edit 3/20/17: added
- Wiz Khalifa
- Wolf Parade Edit 3/8/17: added (mknap24)
- The Wood Brothers Edit 3/11/17: added (undeadsinatra)
- Worthy Edit 3/9/17: added (itchycanscratch)
- Wu-Tang Clan Edit 3/8/17: added
- XXXTentacion Edit 4/2/17: added (mileslwayne)
- Yeasayer Edit 4/3/17: added (russell949)
- YG
- Young the Giant: Edit 3/16/17: moved from "out" due to touring schedule by (take_5).
- Zhu
- ZZ Ward Edit 3/20/17: added
Edit 3/13/17 added:
Past lineup drop dates: - 2016: 4/5
- 2015: 3/24
- 2014: 4/8
- 2013: 4/16
- 2012: 4/17
Edit 3/27/17 added:
Confirmations Electric guest: Confirmed on 3/27/17 by
A_lonerist https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/61povt/electric_guest_confirmed/ Metallica: Confirmed on 3/29/17 by Ranger Dave and first reported by
r-fitz_24 https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/6290zj/osl_twitter_basically_confirmed_metallica/ Empire of the Sun Confirmed on 3/29/17 by Ranger Dave and first reported by
0kvn_prz0 https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/5y60fc/i_have_compiled_all_the_data_from_this_sub_and/dfkrq94/?context=3 Sofi Tucker Confirmed on 3/29/17 by Ranger Dave and first reported by
IrateDesperado https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/62b3sw/new_hints_megathreadspeculation/dfl7nky/ Acts that were mentioned by no one that ended up on the lineup (in order of appearance) - Above & Beyond
- Rebelution
- Dr. Octagon
- Bomba Estereo
- RAC
- James Vincent McMorrow
- Temples
- Survive
- K.Flay
- Foxgen
- Goldroom
- Hundred Waters
- Khruangbin
- Kali Uchis
- San Fermin
- Joseph
- The Japanese House
- Lee Fields & the Expressions
- Muna
- Mon Laferte
- Porches
- Jacob Banks
- Mondo Cozmo
- Frenship
- John Moreland
- Sam Dew
- Oliver Tree
- Lawrence
- The She's
submitted by sconce2600 to OutsideLands [link] [comments]
DilettanteTunesmith's Ridiculously Extra Mega List of the First Half Of 2018
Alright, I apologize in advance for the wall of text, but these are all 235 albums I've heard this year, and since the ranking gets a little fast and loose near the middle, I'm going to split them into more or less ranked groups that might give you a better idea of how I feel about them. I'll have short blurbs for the Top 5, Bottom 5, and 8 select albums in between that I think have been underrated or maybe deserve more attention (these albums will be bolded and italicized for emphasis).
BEST (Top 25):
- Parquet Courts - Wide Awake!
Every song on here is great and the themes and lyrics are timely, thoughtful, and nuanced; any political statements never come off as preachy or trite, but are still given plenty of urgency. It's catchy as hell and has plenty of singability (I don't think that's a word, but still). It never really feels samey, with many songs differing stylistically from each other, but it doesn't ever get too disparate and always feels very "Parquet Courts" to me. It's just very solid, and it's probably the album I've revisited, and will revisit, the most so far this year.
- U.S. Girls - In A Poem Unlimited
Pop perfection! Funky jams that often belie darker messages (such as the Obama administration's use of drone bombings in the Middle East on MAH, domestic abuse on Incidental Boogie, the abuse of power by men in authority on Pearly Gates), this album never lets up. On its surface, it's a very fun listen, and if that's all you're here for, then that's fine, but there's plenty to enjoy for those looking for a deeper listening experience too.
A continuance of last year's A Crow Looked At Me, another intense, unflinching and wonderful album from Phil Elverum, with an expanded sonic palette. While still very vulnerable and autobiographical, where A Crow Looked At Me was stark and unflinchingly focused, this album has a lot more expanse. I've come back to this one a lot more often than A Crow Looked At Me as well.
- Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer
Funky, cohesive, and immerisive! Her voice is amazing and the instrumentation and production are great. Feels very retro, but still very fresh. Catchy choruses galore.
Underrated for sure! I really hope this doesn't go under anyone's radar, because it's fantastic. A sprawl of an album with a cinematic feel at times, based around the concept of what happens when you lose all your memories that has parallels loss of meaning in the information age. Lots of references shared between songs, lyrically and musically. Gorgeous instrumentation and melodies. Please don't miss out on this.
- The Voidz - Virtue
- Kali Uchis - Isolation
- Hop Along - Bark Your Head Off, Dog
- DJ Koze - Knock Knock
- Sons Of Kemet - Your Queen Is A Reptile
- Ought - Room Inside The World
- Skee Mask - Compro
- serpentwithfeet - soil
- Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks - Sparkle Hard
- MGMT - Little Dark Age
- Mark Kozelek - s/t
- They Might Be Giants - I Like Fun
- Jon Hopkins - Singularity
- Iceage - Beyondless
- Saba - Care For Me
- Florence + The Machine - High As Hope
- Anna Von Hausswolff - Dead Magic
- Against All Logic - 2012-2017
- JPEGMAFIA - Veteran
- Leon Vynehall - Nothing Is Still
GREAT:
- KIDS SEE GHOSTS - s/t
- Yamantaka // Sonic Titan - Dirt
Their first in 5 years and first with new vocalist Joanna Delos Reyes, Dirt is a brutal and epic narrative album that draws from Haudenosaunee and Buddhist themes, and is a genre-fluid experience that draws from prog, punk, and Indigenous American music, among others.
- Of Montreal - White Is Relic/Irrealis Mood
- Father John Misty - God’s Favorite Customer
- The Skull Defekts - s/t
- Jack White - Boarding House Reach
- Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - Everything’s Fine
- Melody’s Echo Chamber - Bon Voyage
- Oneohtrix Point Never - Age Of
- Scallops Hotel - sovereign nose of (y)our arrogant face
- Beach House - 7
- Rival Consoles - Persona
- CupcakKe - Ephorize
- Jeff Rosenstock - POST-
- Sophie - OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES
- Half Waif - Lavender
- Simian Mobile Disco - Murmurations
- Okkervil River - In The Rainbow Rain
- De Lux - More Disco Songs About Love
- Ash Koosha - Aktual
- The Garden - Mirror Might Steal Your Charm
- The Decemberists - I’ll Be Your Girl
- Lucy Dacus - Historian
- Cavern Of Anti-Matter - Hormone Lemonade
- Pusha T - Daytona
- Haley Henderickx - I Need To Start A Garden
- Anenon - Tongue
- Death Grips - Year Of The Snitch
- Kadhja Bonet - Childqueen
- Mr. Fingers - Cerebral Hemispheres
- Mary Lattimore - Hundreds Of Days
- Field Music - Open Here
- Will DiMaggio - At Ease
- Hot Snakes - Jericho Sirens
- Leon Bridges - Good Thing
- Galcher Lustwerk - 200% GALCHER
- Alela Diane - Cusp
- Blawan - Wet Will Always Dry
- Kamasi Washington - Heaven And Earth
- Screaming Females - All At Once
- Boy Azooga - 1, 2, Kung Fu!
- Nine Inch Nails - Bad Witch
- Kilchhofer - The Book Room
- Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears
- Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
- Amen Dunes - Freedom
- Ed Schrader’s Music Beat - Riddles
- тпсб - Sekundenschlaf
At times woozy and off-kilter, this album, whose name translates to "microsleep" and refers to that split second of sleep where you accidentally drift off and wake up suddenly again, definitely fits the description of its name. It is at once soothing, yet jarring and strange, and its unique, genre-blending, electronic atmosphere leaves a haunting impression that is unique among all other albums I've heard this year.
- John Prine - The Tree Of Forgiveness
- Gorillaz - The Now Now
- Kemialliset Ystävät - Siipi Empii
- Soccer Mommy - Clean
- Teyana Taylor - K.T.S.E.
- Mark Pritchard - The Four Worlds
- Snail Mail - Lush
- Everything Is Recorded - s/t
- Haru Nemuri - 春と修羅
- The Maghreban - 01DEAS
- Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel
- Syclops - Pink Eye
- Lucrecia Dalt - Anticlines
- The Spook School - Could It Be Different?
- Carl Lozito Jr. - The Library Album
- Say Sue Me - Where We Were Together
- Sarah Davachi - Let Night Come On Bells End The Day
- Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Sex & Food
- Ling Tosite Sigure - #5
- Sunset Rollercoaster - Cassa Nova
- Brett Naucke - The Mansion
- Nils Frahm - All Melody
- Hayley Kiyoko - Expectations
- Alva Noto - Unieqav
- Mamuthones - Fear On The Corner
- Natalie Prass - The Future And The Past
- Closer - All This Will Be
A ripper of an emo album, Ryann Slausen's screams are brutal and the instrumentation is great to match. I've returned to this one quite often. Solid, solid debut, can't wait to hear more from them.
GOOD:
- Detroit Swindle - High Life
- Tal National - Tantabara
- BTS - Love Yourself 轉 'Tear'
- Tropical Fuck Storm - A Laughing Death In Meatspace
- Gengahr - Where Wildness Grows
- Jackie O Motherfucker - Bloom
- The HIRS Collective - Friends. Lovers. Favorites.
A powerful debut LP from hardcore punk outfit HIRS Collective. Featuring appearances from Against Me!'s Laura Jane Grace, Screaming Females' Marissa Paternoster, Garbage's Shirley Manson, G.L.O.S.S' Sadie Switchblade and others, Friends. Lovers. Favorites. is punishing in sound and is a fantastically powerful love letter to the LGBTQ+ community.
- Seth Graham - Gasp
- Kate Nash - Yesterday Was Forever
- Witxes - Orients
- The Carters - EVERYTHING IS LOVE
- Surgeon - Luminosity Device
- Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar
- Shame - Songs Of Praise
- Essaie Pas - New Path
- Ministry Of Interior Spaces - Life, Death, & The Perpetual Wound
While many of you are probably aware of this album, since I know there's some overlap between here and /indieheads, this is a lovely ambient album from user god_is_ender with a rich palette of sounds and gorgeous melodies. Love it.
- Freddie Gibbs - Freddie
- Tierra Whack - Whack World
- Daniel Avery - Song For Alpha
- The Presets - Hi Viz
- Cadence Weapon - s/t
- Eartheater - IRISIRI
- Rezzett - s/t
- Ghost - Prequelle
- Nipsey Hussle - Victory Lap
- Kraus - Path
- Death And The Maiden - Wisteria
- Gaz Coombes - World’s Strongest Man
- Zeal & Ardor - Stranger Fruit
- Video Age - Pop Therapy
- Takecha - Deep Soundscapes
- Lana Del Rabies - Shadow World
- Dabrye - Three/Three
- Electric Indigo - 511593
- Rotting Sky - Sedation
- Portal - Ion
- Czarface & MF DOOM - Czarface Meets Metal Face
- Charmer - s/t
- MC Paul Barman - (((echo chamber)))
- Yo La Tengo - There’s A Riot Going On
- Pinkshinyultrablast - Miserable Miracles
- Road Hog - Spares
- Origami Girl - Lotus Flowers
A very pretty, melodic vaporwave album that I haven't seen given much critical attention. Doesn't break a lot of new ground, sure, but the melodies and textures are very nice, and a couple of the tracks from this I've had on repeat for a while (title track, Viginia Slims).
- Soulwax - Essential
- Castlebeat - VHS
FINE:
- Cardi B - Invasion Of Privacy
- Kimbra - Primal Heart
- Tribulation - Down Below
- Hookworms - Microshift
- Sleep - The Sciences
- Goat Girl - s/t
- BAMBARA - Shadow On Everything
- Dream Wife - s/t
- Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - Hope Downs
- Grouper - Grid Of Points
- Gnod - Chapel Perilous
- Desired - Timeless
- Ripe - Joy In The Wild Unknown
A fun, brass-centric, funk pop album, while I liked the album, it's honestly even better live If anything, that's maybe my one gripe, is that the album doesn't quite capture how fun they are in person. Saw them open for Blues Traveler and honestly, they showed them up. Went with my gf to see them on their recent headlining tour. They put on a great show with an irresistible charm that you have to dance to. Keep a watch on these guys.
- Hailu Mergia - Lala Belu
- Neko Case - Hell-On
- Chris Carter - Chemistry Lessons Vol. 1
- Dr. Dog - Critical Equation
- Khruangbin - Con Todo El Mundo
- Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour
- AWOLNATION - Here Come The Runts
- Fire! - The Hands
- Frankie Cosmos - Vessel
- GAS - Rausch
- Cities Aviv - Raised For A Better View
- Illuminati hotties - Kiss Yr Frenemies
- Beta Librae - Sanguine Bond
- Bernice - Puff: In The Air Without A Shape
- Jukebox The Ghost - Off To The Races
- Flatbush Zombies - Vacation In Hell
- Capac - Through The Dread Waste
- McCafferty - Yarn
- Tune-Yards - I can feel you creep into my private life
- Panic! At The Disco - Pray For The Wicked
- Letherette - Brown Lounge Vol. 4
- Andrew W.K. - You’re Not Alone
- Debit - Animus
- J. Cole - KOD
- Bedbug - i’ll count to heaven in years without seasons
- Dr. Octagon - Moosebumps - An Exploration Into Modern Day Horripilation
- Facechain - Accensor
- Equip - Synthetic Core 88
A fun album to check out if you're into JRPGs at all, this is a soundtrack to a game that does not exist and was created entirely on the Roland SC88.
MEH:
- J Balvin - Vibras
- Superorganism - s/t
- Kanye West - ye
- Project Pablo - Come To Canada You Will Like It
- CHVRCHES - Love Is Dead
- Rich Brian - Amen
- Guided By Voices - Space Gun
- Tracey Thorn - Record
- Son Lux - Brighter Wounds
- Park Jiha - Communion
- Recondite - Daemmerlicht
- Franz Ferdinand - Always Ascending
- Django Django - Marble Skies
- Stimulator Jones - Exotic Worlds And Masterful Treasures
- Black Moth Super Rainbow - Panic Blooms
- A Place To Bury Strangers - Pinned
- The Final Age. - s/t
- Laura Palmer’s Death Parade - Among Us All
- Konduku - Kiran
- Efrim Manuel Menuck - Pissing Stars
- Laura Veirs - The Lookout
- Camila Cabello - Camila
- The Wombats - Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life
- Fischerspooner - Sir
- Flasher - Constant Image
- A$AP Rocky - Testing
- No Age - Snares Like A Haircut
- Computer Magic - Danz
- Preoccupations - New Material
- John Tejada - Dead Start Program
- David Byrne - American Utopia
BORING:
- Magic Wands - Abrakadabra
- Shopping - The Official Body
- Dural - Distant Exoplanet
- E Ruscha V - Who Are You
- quickly, quickly - Paths
- Moaning - Moaning
- Nightmares On Wax - Shape The Future
- Matthewdavid - Time Flying Beats
- Super Whatevr - Never Nothing
- BØRNS - Blue Madonna
- Johnny Jewel - Digital Rain
- Hovvdy - Cranberry
- Starcrawler - s/t
- Drake - Scorpion
Just not a lot to come back to here. I mean, Nice For What boinks in the auto but that's about it. I guess 8 Out Of 10 was good, but then that outro at the end kind of annoyed me, tbh. Not really a hot take I guess, but for as long as it is, there really were not a lot of good returns on this.
BAD:
This is where I actively start disliking albums. I honestly don't really have a lot of albums I don't like this year, or to be honest any year. I generally just don't listen to any albums I think I will dislike, what's the point of it? (except for the last one on here, and that's mostly because I figured it would at least be, I don't know maybe enjoyably shitty?) And I'm probably more lenient or easy to please when it comes to music. So I guess the reason I disliked this one so much is just because of how much of a MASSIVE disappointment it was. I was so stoked that one of my favorite bands from my metalcore days was reuniting, and with the original lineup no less! I'm still a big fan of A Boy Brushed Red... and especially Define The Great Line. I loved the sonic risks that Underoath took later on in their career, and they were always still super catchy. Here? No risks, no catchiness. Nothing fun. It's not even really metalcore, just harder and louder buttrock. Not that a stylistic change is inherently bad, but like... something has to come of it yeah? And low-stakes albums aren't always bad either, but it's so simple AND boring that it just feels like it lacks any substance.
- Venetian Snares - She Began To Cry Tears Of Blood Which Became Little Brick Houses When They Hit The Ground
I dunno, after this one, I had to go back and relisten to Autechre to remind myself that I don't hate IDM. Just very samey, soundwise, IMO, and not a lot about the arrangements interested me or stuck with me.
The musical equivalent of combining every soda at the soda fountain. Personally, I think Fall Out Boy has not transitioned into pop as gracefully as similar bands like Panic! At The Disco or Paramore have.
- Justin Timberlake - Man Of The Woods
Just... some of the dumbest lyrics this year and the strangest aesthetic and production choices. I thought maybe it would be a fun kind of shitty, like The Room or Troll 2. But nah, it was just regular kind. Just, a track that sounds like a hymn about flannel shirts? After hearing Jessica Biel talk about wearing his shirts like its his skin? The line "If I take it too far, that's okay because you know I hear the making up's fun" is kinda giving me rapey vibes. And "There's the faucet" has to be the least sexy thing I can think of. "Beautiful boy, got it from your momma; Damn, she look good, you might get a sister"? Is he singing to his son about how much he wants to do his mom? Jesus. I could go on but I won't cause I guess it's too easy of a target but Good God. I don't know how it could get worse.
I guess that pretty much wraps up my list week contribution, feel free to ask me how I feel about any of these that I haven't addressed! Cheers :)
submitted by dilettanteTunesmith to ListeningHeads [link] [comments]
The Greatest Sport On Earth - A guide to the best fights in boxing history
Nothing beats a great fight. Not football, not soccer, not baseball. Want to put this to the test? If your neighbors were throwing down on your lawn during the Super Bowl, your living room would be empty before someone could shout out World Star.
What follows below is a comprehensive list of the greatest fights of all time. Not all fights are created equally. Some are here for different reasons. They will be labeled as such.
One thing you will learn is that great fights are always happening. If you like Rocky type of violence, you only need to tune into any card 3 hours early and watch young kids desperately try to make their names against veterans who are clinging onto their meek stance in the sport.
Let's get right into things:
The Classics
Below is a list of the generally agreed upon greatest fights. If you’re on the fence or brand new to boxing, this is the first list of fights you should look at. Below have stood the test of time. The events of the fights below leave a lasting impression. They never leave the mind. They require revisiting again and again because full appreciation of the brutality, of the artistry, of the drama cannot be drunk in just one gulp.
Marvin Hagler 60(50)-2-2 vs Tommy Hearns 40(34)-1
12 rounds WBC world middleweight title WBA world middleweight title IBF world middleweight title April 15, 1985 Cesar Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
YouTube HBO Legendary Nights Diego Corrales 39(32)-2 vs Jose Luis Castillo 52(46)-6-1
12 rounds WBC world lightweight title WBO world lightweight title May 7, 2005 Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada
YouTube Arturo Gatti 34(28)-5 vs Micky Ward 37(27)-11
10 rounds super lightweight division May 18, 2002 Mohegan Sun Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
YouTube Alexis Arguello 72(59)-5 vs Aaron Pryor 31(29)-0
15 rounds WBA world super lightweight title November 12, 1982 Orange Bowl, Miami, Florida
YouTube HBO Legendary Nights Muhammad Ali 31(25)-0 vs Joe Frazier 26(23)-0 I
15 rounds WBC world heavyweight title WBA world heavyweight title March 8, 1971 Madison Square Garden, New York, New York
YouTube Bobby Chacon 50(42)-6-1 vs Rafael Limon 50(37)-12-2 IV
15 rounds WBC world super featherweight title December 11, 1982 Memorial Auditorium, Sacramento, California
YouTube Erik Morales 35(28)-0 vs Marco Antonio Barrera 49(36)-2
12 rounds WBC world super bantamweight title WBO world super bantamweight title February 19, 2000 Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada
YouTube Riddick Bowe 31(27)-0 vs Evander Holyfield 28(22)-0
12 rounds WBC world heavyweight title WBA world heavyweight title IBF world heavyweight title November 13, 1992 Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
YouTube HBO Legendary Nights Israel Vazquez 41(30)-3 vs Rafael Marquez 36(32)-3
12 rounds WBC world super bantamweight title March 3, 2007 Home Depot Center, Carson, California
YouTube Ray Leonard 30(21)-1 vs Thomas Hearns 32(30)-0
15 rounds WBC world welterweight title WBA world welterweight title September 16, 1981 Caesars Palace, Outdoor Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
YouTube HBO Legendary Nights Salvador Sanchez 33(27)-1-1 vs Danny Lopez 42(39)-3
12 rounds WBC world featherweight title February 2, 1980 Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum, Phoenix, Arizona
YouTube Julio Cesar Chavez 68(56)-0 vs Meldrick Taylor 24(14)-0-1
12 rounds WBC world super lightweight title IBF world super lightweight title March 17, 1990 Hilton Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada
YouTube Muhammad Ali 48(34)-2 vs Joe Frazier 32(27)-2
15 rounds WBC world heavyweight title WBA world heavyweight title October 1, 1975 Amanita Coliseum, Barangay Cubao, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines
YouTube Historical Classics
These fights are all pre-1980. Some are in black and white. None are any less brutal than the fights below or above.
Joe Louis 35(29)-1 vs Max Schmeling 52(37)-7-4 II
15 rounds World heavyweight title Yankee Stadium, Bronx, New York June 22, 1938 YouTube
Carmen Basilio 51(25)-12-7 vs Sugar Ray Robinson 140(91)-5-2
15 rounds World middleweight title September 23, 1957 Yankee Stadium, Bronx, New York YouTube
Rocky Graziano 45(34)-7-5 vs Tony Zale 63(41)-16-2 II
15 rounds World middleweight title July 16, 1947 Chicago Stadium, Chicago, Illinois YouTube
Carmen Basilio 47(21)-11-7 vs Tony DeMarco 47(30)-6-1
15 rounds World welterweight title November 30, 1955 Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts YouTube
Rocky Marciano 42(37)-0 vs Joe Walcott 51(32)-16-2
15 rounds World heavyweight title September 23, 1952 Municipal Stadium, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania YouTube
Jack Dempsey 52(42)-4-9 vs Luis Firpo 25(21)-2
15 rounds NYSAC world heavyweight title September 14, 1923 Polo Grounds, New York, New York YouTube
Joe Louis 54(46)-1 vs Billy Conn 62(13)-10-1
15 rounds World heavyweight title June 19, 1946 Yankee Stadium, Bronx, New York YouTube
Ray Robinson 128(84)-1-2 vs Randy Turpin 40(29)-2-1 I
15 rounds World middleweight title July 10, 1951 Earls Court Arena, Kensington, London, United Kingdom YouTube
Gene Tunney 54(44)-5-9 vs Jack Dempsey 63(47)-1-1 II
10 rounds National Boxing Association World heavyweight title September 22, 1927 Soldiers Field, Chicago, Illinois YouTube
Emile Griffith 52(18)-7 vs Nino Benevenuti 71(30)-1
15 rounds WBC world middleweight title WBA world middleweight title April 17, 1967 Madison Square Garden, New York, New York YouTube
Muhammad Ali 44(31)-2 vs George Foreman 40(37)-0
15 rounds WBC world heavyweight title WBA world heavyweight title October 30, 1974 State du 20 Mai, Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo YouTube
Rocky Marciano 42(37)-0 vs Joe Walcott 51(32)-16-2
15 rounds World heavyweight title September 23, 1952 Municipal Stadium, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania YouTube
George Foreman 40(37)-1 vs Ron Lyle 31(22)-3-1
15 rounds vacant NABF heavyweight title January 24, 1976 Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada YouTube
Contemporary Classics
These fights are a little more recent. Mostly post 80s, but certainly deserving of being in a separate category of classic fights.
Roberto Duran 71(56)-1 vs Ray Leonard 27(18)-0
15 rounds WBC world welterweight title June 20, 1980 Olympic Stadium, Montreal, Quebec, Canada YouTube
Nigel Benn 39(32)-2-1 vs Gerald McClellan 31(29)-2
12 rounds WBC world super middleweight title February 25, 1995 New London Arena, Millwall, London, United Kingdom YouTube
Marvin Hagler 61(51)-2-2 vs John Mugabi 25(25)-0
12 rounds WBC world middleweight title WBA world middleweight title IBF world middleweight title March 10, 1986 Caesars Palace, Outdoor Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada YouTube
Salvador Sanchez 43(31)-1-1 vs Azumah Nelson 13(10)-0
15 rounds WBC world featherweight title July 21, 1982 Madison Square Garden, New York, New York YouTube
Herol Graham 43(26)-2 vs Julian Jackson 40(38)-1
12 rounds vacant WBC world middleweight title November 24, 1990 Torrequebrada Hotel & Casino, Benalmádena, Andalucia, Spain YouTube
Hector Camacho 28(15)-0 vs Edwin Rosario 28(24)-1
12 rounds WBC world lightweight title June 13, 1986 Madison Square Garden, New York, New York YouTube
Roberto Duran 84(61)-7 vs Iran Barkley 25(16)-4
12 rounds WBC world middleweight title February 24, 1989 Convention Center, Atlantic City, New Jersey YouTube
Note: I typically do not re-watch fights. I have a few that I do for sentimental reasons, but on the whole I don't watch fights more than once if I don't have to. I've provided some blurbs below from what I can remember of fights. As I remember more, I'll continue to add them in. Nearly all of these fights are on YouTube.
Heavyweight Brawls
Everyone loves a good heavyweight scrap, right? I can't be as detailed with the rest of the lists (you'll soon see why) so if one of these interests you, you're gonna have to do the googling yourself. Anyway, this is part of the fun of boxing anyway. Simply watching a brawl isn't always enough. There's nothing quite like watching a back and forth fight with some emotional investment or having something at stake in the fight. I recommend from here on out you research these fighters. You might spoil the result, but most of these fights stand alone. Even if you know the result they're nearly all exciting.
- Ike Ibeabuchi vs David Tua
- Lamon Brewster vs Siarhei Liakhovich
- Michael Moorer vs Bert Cooper
- Tommy Morrison vs Razor Rudduck
- Tommy Morrison vs Joe Hipp
- Ron Lyle vs Ernie Shavers
- Lennox Lewis vs Vitali Klitschko
- Derrick Jefferson vs Maurice Harris
- Jumbo Cummings vs Frank Bruno
The 80s
It's going to be rare to find any of these fights in crystal clear HD, but I don't think it's necessary. Knockouts are knockouts.
- Matthew Saad Muhammad vs Yaqui Lopez II (I can't remember where I read this, but someone said "You know a guy is guaranteed fireworks when his name is Yaqui.")
- Freddie Pendleton vs Frankie Randall
- Rocky Kelly vs Tony Brown
- Bernardo Pinango vs Frankie Duarte
- Michael Carbajal vs Will Grigsby
- Art Jimmerson vs Lenny LaPaglia (There is very little defense in this one.)
- Freddie Roach vs Tommy Cordova (Watching Freddie Roach fight will tell you all you need to know about how he trains.)
- Bobby Chacon vs Cornelius Boza Edwards
- Edwin Rosario vs Jose Luis Ramirez
The 90s
Okay, quality is steadily increasing.
- Johnny Tapia vs Paulie Ayala (A lot of sites list this among the classics list at the very top. I'm not going to go that far because I like balance.)
- Marco Antonio Barrera vs Kennedy McKinney (This is the first fight ever on HBO's Boxing After Dark. It's a highly tactical war.)
- Pernell Whitaker vs Jose Luis Ramirez (Who said defense wasn't fun?)
- Junior Jones vs Kennedy McKinney
- Israel Vazquez vs Marcos Licona
- Michael Carbajal vs Muanchai Kitikasem
- Micky Ward vs Reggie Green (If we were going to put together a list of the fighters who went the farthest on heart alone, Micky Ward would be somewhere in the top 10)
- Naseem Hamed vs Kevin Kelley (The Prince was a special fighter. You'll see why.)
- Marlon Starling vs Maurice Blocker (significant for Roach vs Futch)
- Arturo Gatti vs Wilson Rodriguez (Gatti is guaranteed entertainment. Here is another shining example of why you don't hook with a hooker.)
- Jorge Arce vs Michael Carbajal
- Oscar De La Hoya vs Shane Mosley (Two of the top pound-for-pound fighters get together and take turns putting a beating on the other guy. Oscar's jab was such a thing of beauty in the 90s that Mosley complains of back pain from his neck snapping back.)
- Erik Morales vs Daniel Zaragoza
- Oscar De La Hoya vs Fernando Vargas (Lots and lots of drama in this one. Wild crowd takes it over the top.)
The 00s
- Juan Manuel Marquez vs Juan Diaz I (All-out, aggressive, face-first offense walks into one of the greatest counter-punchers of all time. Guess what happens...)
- Manny Pacquiao vs Erik Morales I & II (Before he became Manny Pacquiao, he had to go to school somewhere.)
- Marco Antonio Rubio vs Enrique Ornelas (Traditional Mexican style war)
- Silence Mabuza vs Yonnhy Perez
- Fernando Montiel vs Luis Melendez (Montiel used to be a bad little man)
- Roman Martinez vs Daniel Jimenez
- Joe Calzaghe vs Mikkel Kessler (Fantastic fight featuring an established champion and a young up-and-comer)
- Adonis Stevenson vs Anthony Bonsante
- Hassan N’Dam N’Jikam vs Would Guarras
- Bernard Hopkins vs Felix Trinidad (You've got to read about the build-up around the fight. This was one of the first sporting events after September 11.)
- Carl Thompson vs Sebastiaan Rothmann
- Luis Concepcion vs Hernan Marquez II (This is what happens when you mix gasoline and fire)
- Giovani Segura vs Ivan Calderon I (All-out offense vs a defensive master.)
- Giovani Segura vs Hernan Marquez (All-out offense vs all-out offense)
- Giovanni Segura vs Cesar Chinchilla I (All-out offensive vs more offense)
- Rogers Mtagwa vs Artom Simony
- John Duddy vs Yori Boy Campas
- Carl Thompson vs Ezra Sellers
- Alex Stewart vs Ezra Sellers
- Micky Ward vs Emanuel Augustus (An absolute must-watch. It probably could qualify as a classic. If you're a new fan, these fighters are required watches.)
- Alex Arthur vs Michael Gomez (This is a wild fight with an even crazier crowd. The atmosphere is truly special.)
- Paul Samuels vs Cello Renda I
- Satoshi Hosono vs Hiroyuki Enoki
- Tomas Villa vs Rogers Mtgawa
- Daniel Edouard vs Willie Gibbs
- Kelly Pavlik vs Jermain Taylor (The emergence of a monster dismantles the boxer.)
- James Toney vs Vassiliy Jirov (The counter punching master revival)
- Carl Froch vs Jean Pascal (This is a brutal fight between two guys looking to make a name.)
- Felix Trinidad vs Fernando Vargas (The Puerto Rican superstar controversial stops a Mexican warrior)
- Felix Trinidad vs Ricardo Mayorga (The Puerto Rican superstar gets his chance to shut Mayorga's mouth up.)
- Antonio Margarito vs Miguel Cotto (One of the most controversial and bloody fights in recent memory.)
- Joel Casamayor vs Michael Katsidis (Katsidis knows one thing and he knows it well.)
- Graham Earl vs Michael Katsidis (This is a Katsidis fight so you know what to expect.)
- Carl Froch vs Jermain Taylor (A dramatic fight with a big finish.)
2010 to Now
- Sergio Martinez vs Paul Williams I (Two of the most avoided fighters in boxing meet since nobody else would fight them. The result is magical.)
- Tim Bradley vs Ruslan Provodnikov (A dramatic and brutal fight between two of the toughest warriors in the sport.)
- Manny Pacquiao vs Juan Manuel Marquez IV (The conclusion to their epic series is the best installment of the series.)
- Orlando Salido vs Juan Manuel Lopez (Mexico vs Puerto Rico does it again.)
- Brandon Rios vs Mike Alvarado I (Not much technical boxing going on here. Just a classic slugfest.)
- Marcos Maidana vs Victor Ortiz (Nobody deserves to take a beating like these guys took.)
- Orlando Salido vs Terdsak Kokietgym (I lost count of the knockdowns.)
- Francisco Rodriguez Jr vs Katsunari Takayama (Takayama only knows how to fight like his life is on the line.)
- Mike Alvarado vs Breidis Prescott (A brutal fight.)
- Marcos Madiana vs Josesito Lopez (Another classic slugfest from Maidana.)
- Marco Huck vs Krzysztof Glowacki (A long reigning champion meets a young hungry lion.)
- Adrien Broner vs Marcos Maidana (Adrien Broner stands toe-to-toe with Marcos Maidana. The winner earns a shot at Floyd Mayweather.)
- Carl Froch vs Mikkel Kessler I & II (Two elite super middleweights have a pair of classic wars.)
- Lucas Matthysse vs John Molina (Molina tells everyone he's not afraid of Matthysse and has power of his own. Then the bell rings.)
- Erik Morales vs Marcos Maidana (A throwback performance from a legendary Mexican warrior against one of the hardest punchers in the sport.)
- Victor Ortiz vs Josesito Lopez (Ortiz brings offense. Lopez brings more.)
- Tommy Coyle vs Daniel Brizuela (A wild back and forth fight with enough knockdowns for this entire list.)
- Victor Ortiz vs Andre Berto ("Oh my god!")
- Terence Crawford vs Yuriorkis Gamboa (Two elite boxers meet for a wild back-and-forth fight.)
- Orlando Salido vs Roman Martinez I (Mexico vs Puerto Rico. Enough said.)
- Chris John vs Daud Yordan (The long reigning paper champion of Indonesia loses some years off his career.)
- Derry Mathews vs Tommy Coyle (A wild fight.)
- Omar Figueroa vs Nihito Arakawa (There is literally no defense in this fight.)
- Robert Guerrero vs Yoshihiro Kamegai (See above.)
submitted by noirargent to Boxing [link] [comments]
My friend asked me what the best JonTron video was
My buddy he comes up to me and he says “Hey what’s your favorite JonTron film?”
And ya knows what I does?
I waltzes right up to him and I looks him square in da eyes and I says to him
Jon: And they said Kratos was the best hero...shish...they got it wrong sister. Hercules is clearly better. He even has a coconut weapon...
Jacques: Jon, I am finally back from Vietnam. LOL.
[JACQUES IS BACK FROM WAR GUYS!]
Jon: Jacques! Come here! I want to show you, I'm playing a game based on my favorite Greek legend, Heracles.
[DISNEY'S TARZAN (For the N64)]
Jacques: I'm glad to see nothing has changed around here.
Jon (singing): Two worlds...one family!
Jacques: Fuck this shit.
Jon (singing, heavily slurred): Son of man, look to the sky!
(Jacques explodes)
Jon: Wait a second, Jacques. I've got it! Hercules went through his 12 trials to become immortal right? Well, I mean, I don't want to stop playing games or doing the things I love to do with you or even making this show!
Jacques: Hasn't stopped you before.
Jon: I want to become immortal, too, Jacques. Just like Hercules! By playing the 12 games of Herc-- ...wait what did you fuckin' just say to me?
(The shot freezes)
KICK IT!
[LET'S START THE PARTY!]
(JonTron Intro)
(Title card)
(Ta-da sound)
Jon: Hercules!
Jon: Greek myths have always been a fascinating subject to me. Tales of treacherous journeys and epic voyages across the sea! Mythological beasts of old and the very fabric of nature itself. They tell of humans...creating larger than life heroes and gods...in their own flawed image. No one is safe from his or her own...hubris.
Jon: So to make an example of my point Imma play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64, it's called Hercules. What a name... I--I guess they didn't have to try back then, it was the 80s, all they had to worry about was Ronald Reagan talking about Gorbachev!
Jon (narrating): More like the Commodore Sixty-Bore! Heh heh, just kidding, it was actually pretty revolutionary.
[The game begins and Jon clicks his fingers to the intro music]
Jon: That's what I call music...
Jon (narrating): Now you know me and everybody's favorite part of Hercules myth was horse, sheep, lion, barn, ... uh... not sure what this is but it fits in, it fits in good.
(The game's story appears)
Jon: Alright, good thing, we got some back story here. Let's begin!
(Jon dies in the game before he even gets a chance to move around, and it goes back to the game's story screen)
(Shows Jon staring blankly with the joystick in his hands)
Jon: ... Oooooooooooh!
Jon (narrating): So yeah, apparently you die instantly if you don't start to move, I'm not fuckin' around, I'm talking like instantly! I mean, what kind of legendary reflexes do they expect people to have? I--I mean at this point they b--barely mastered Galaga! As soon as you die it skips you ahead randomly to the next level or something, so you don't even have a chance to learn what you did wrong in the first place. And before you know it, it's over. What the hell is this shit?
Jon (narrating): This was so jarring to me that I actually had to go online and check if that's the way the game is supposed to be, and it's not just broken. And yeah...that's the way the game is supposed to be. ...Who would do this? Who...would DO THIS?!
Jon (narrating): It's absolutely random, it's like the 1980s version of I Wanna Be the Guy! You jump here, platform turns invisible! Fire! DEAD! You jump there, fire, DEAD!
(Shows multiple shots of Jon dying in the game ending with a scene showing a car exploding from the 1995 film Casino)
Jon (narrating): DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!
Jon (narrating): Hey, at least I can get the big sleep, so I don't have to play this game. And I'm not talking about the Salvador Dali painting.
Jon (narrating) Oh yeah, Herc. Climb those ropes. Climb those ropes, baby, so close.
Jon (narrating): Almost at the exit--so close, come on!
(Jon dies)
Jon (narrating): Oh, come on!! I'm done with this.
Jon: Believe it or not, there's actually another Hercules related game on the Commodore 64, It's called Hercules: Slayer of the Damned. I guess they just...(snaps his fingers)...couldn't get enough of that...generic 80s mythos back in the day! What, with the hot pink?!
(Shows Jon holding a cassette tape)
Jon: Whoever heard of a game being on a cassette tape? (flicks the tape) Let's "boot it up", ladies and gentlemen!
(Jon puts the tape in and plays it, and a loud static noise is heard)
[(ACTUAL NOISE IT MADE)]
(Cuts to the gameplay)
Jon (narrating): ...Well, hi there! What are you up to today?
(A skeleton NPC shuffles in)
Jon: Pffffff...what?
Jon (narrating): Well, I gotta say, there is not much to this one... You just--you just sorta beat the shit outta this guy and there's all these things going on in the corners of the screen that I just--I just have no idea what the hell... There's actually other versions of this game on consoles like the ZX Spectrum and the MSX.
(Jon defeats the skeleton NPC)
Jon (narrating): Yeah!
(Another skeleton NPC exactly like the first one shuffles in)
Jon (narrating): Ho ho ho, is that the way you're gonna pla-- No thank you! I'm not dancing this dance today! Or should I say, shuffling this shuffle. NEXT!
Jon: As for some of the early video game industry's more interesting takes on Hercules fable, we have (points to the cartridge)...DFC-HE...It's a--It's a lady...(points to the title in Japanese) I dunno what this is...
Jon (narrating): It's a Famicom RPG, and quite honestly, I could not tell you what the hell's going on in it.
[Called Glory of Heracles!]
This rather unknown series is still going on today on the Nintendo DS, under the same name. Who'd have thought?
Jon: So here's a little known classic for the PS1, Herc's Adventures, and it's all thanks to--
(the audio track cuts out and is replaced with Jon narrating)
'Jon (narrating)': the military industrial complex.
Truth be told, I don't even know where I'm getting all these games from.
Now if we're being strict on mythological canon here, this is actually Hercules. As you can see here, he is the Hercules of legend... they just call him Herc...it counts.
You can also pick from mythological characters Atlanta and Jason. ...IF YOU'RE STUPID! I don't know who'd wanna play these two! One's a...city in Georgia, THE OTHER ONE'S A REGULAR NAME! Nah, I wanna play as Hercules!
(The gameplay starts)
'Jon (narrating)': That sounds just a bit too much like Dan Castelleneta.
Herc: Don't worry. I'm Hercules!
Jon: So it's basically just a Diablo style beat-em-up. It's pretty cool, honestly. One of the better lesser-known games out there for the PS1. The art style's sweet, and the music sounds a near-lawsuit level similar to Star Wars...
(The game's music, suspiciously similar to Star Wars plays)
[EPISODE IV
HERC'S ADVENTURES
At one point in time the creators of Herc's Adventures decided that they did not give a shit. They were like, whatever, I like Star Wars, and so do most people, so why don't we just use the music from that and just change a few notes.
"That's genius, Arthur!" said Milton from the back of the room. The funny thing about this is that Milton has been dead for about 13 years. In fact, it is still a mystery how he knew Arthur's name given that Arthur was a recent tranfer from Montreal.]
(Shows Luke Skywalker on Tatooine gazing at the sunset as Jon narrates over him)
Jon (narrating): ...How'd dat happen?
(Cuts back to the gameplay, where Zeus appears out of a bolt of lightning)
Jon: Ah, not yet, I'm too young!!
Zeus: Ah, good work so far! But you still have a long way to go. Seek out the help of my fellow gods, Hera, Poseidon, Athena, and Dionysus. But be careful!
Jon: Oh yeah? Yeah. Yes. Yep. Gotcha. Fantastic. Unbelievable.
Zeus: Hades has many allies. In fact, there's a couple of hundred of them just up ahead.
Jon: Couple of what of them?
Zeus: Couple of hundred of them.
Jon: Couple of hundred of them?
Zeus: (distorted) COUPLE OF HUNDRED OF THEM just up ahead. So, good luck.
Jon: Thank you.
Zeus: I mean, good luck!
Jon: Thank you...?
Hades: Heheheheheh...I shall defeat you, and then you shall serve me in the land--
Jon: 'Scuse me, Hades, do you think you could speak up a bit?
Hades: You shall serve me in the land of the dead.
Jon (quietly): "You shall serve me in the land of the dead..." That's how he talks.
Jon: Everything here really shines--wait, whas that?
[EAT GYROS TO RESTORE HEALTH!]
(A version of JonTron's theme song plays as Jon gets up)
Jon: The day has come...the news that was sent to change my life...has fallen upon me.
(music abruptly stops)
Jon: Imma be right back.
(Jon sings over a synthpop based ballad)
Jon (singing): He's goin' to get a gyro...although it's technically pronounced yee-ro...Although I still wanna call it a gyro 'cause it sounds cooler!
(Cuts to half of the gyro eaten back at Jon's house)
Ughh!
My stomach!
Cameraman: Dude, are you gonna be all right?
Jon: You shut up--!
Disney's Hercules! Finally, a familiar face. And, hey, this movie has always been one of my favorites. So, let's see what this one has to offer. These games just keep showing up at my house while I'm sleeping, man!
(Title screen)
(Gameplay)
This game is actually freaking awesome! Awesome music, awesome and punchy sound effects, responsive controls, and DANNY DEVITO THAT TALKS TO YOU! KICK IT DANNY!
Danny: Knock 'em, woo woo woo! All right! Rule number 95, kid, concentrate! (Unintelligible) What are you doing? Get your sword!
[ENCOURAGEMENT EXCITEMENT WISDOM ???????????]
Jon (narrating): I'LL GET MY SWOOOOOORD FOR YOU DANNY!!!
(Shows Jon beating up a ragdoll with his sword)
Well, that's...well, that's...well, that's just not right at all I wouldn't think...
The game functions on a 2D plane that usually consists of sprites. It's all very interesting and exciting, and just dang fun to play. I'd have to say it can easily be considered a hidden gem on the PS1. I mean, come on! Just listen to Danny DeVito's conviction.
Danny: (Unintelligible)
Jon: It's a thing of beauty, okay? You hear that guy? You hear the truth in that dialogue? We're all living in the human condition, but he's speaking it.
I mean, after something like this it couldn't get any better, right? It's tops! We had fun! We're at ecstasy. Wrong! Game Boy version's a piece of shit! Have a look for yourself. I'm sure it'll be an enriching experience.
(The game loads up, and the story flashes on the screen)
[HERCULES! LOOK FOR BONUSES IN THE TREES!]
Jon: Now listen to me, if everyone was critical of everything all the time the world would be a dull place. So let's start with the positives: at least it gave me a milliseconds preview of the game before shovin' a hint in my fuckin' face! Hercules, look for bonuses in the trees. What does that mean, dude? Hm, if there was ever anything to give me the goose pimples, it's probably that. Now, that's just weird! That's like starting a game off being like, "Hercules, remember the scent of mother!" Like, what the fuck, dude?? I'm receptive, don't start me off like that, ease me into this shit! Ohkay? Don't just start off gunhoe, don't play your royal flush right away! I always save a royal flush when playing poker, the...the...the thing is don't play poker with me.
Oh my god, that music. That sounds nothing like Disney's Hercules! That doesn't even sound like it could go in the special features on the DVD. It's just one of those songs that drones on and on and on! Perfectly complementing the gameplay I might add. And these hints just keep popping up! Hercules, beware of fireballs. Hercules, beware of spite and jealousy! This game is pure action. I'm not--this game is so much action that if there was a war to protest, this game will be there in Time Square picketing before the feminists got there.
That looks more like Luke Skywalker than Disney's fuckin' Hercules. He does some weird run if you mess around with the buttons. I don't know what it does though.
This game is an ungodly amount of hard. One fuck-up and you're dead. And back to the beginning. Love it. I mean, come on! How do I get on this vine? I am inching...so slowly, and I CAN'T...I CAN'T GET IT! Oh, I see, you gotta do this bullshit to get it. Of course... Good luck landing that. This game is clearly meant to be an acrobatic platformer, as you can see. Well, while we're here we might as well rave about it!
(Footage of the gameplay plays with rave music in the background)
Jon: I gotta to say though, It's kinda cool when he swings his sword...feels like there's some real weight to it.
Now that would be all there is to say about the Disney Hercules games, but there's one last strange addition to this collection. Hercules 2 for the Sega Genesis? Okay, that's right. There's a pirated version of the PS1 edition for the Sega Genesis. Called...Hercules 2. That sure makes a lot of sense.
(Cuts to a kid playing Call of Duty)
Jon: Where was Hercules 1 exactly? Someone fill me in on this?
[Snapping sound plays]
Jon: Also, what's with the snapping? Did you mean to use this sound effect, guys?
[Ringing sound plays]
Jon: This game is really odd. It uses a lot of the same sound bites only incredibly bit crushed.
[GAMEPLAY!]
Jon: Yeah, no. I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna do this. Hercules does what Nintendercules.
Alright, last on our list! Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. You know, like the TV show. With Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or whoever the fuck that was. Fabio? Albert Pacino? Fonzie? The fact that there's a game of this verifies that someone out there hates me. Hercules TV edition! God, this menu music makes me feel like I'm about to embark on an educational adventure or something. I'm not knocking that. Cause I wanna do that. So I hope that's what's going to happen.
Jon imitating Carl Sagan: The brain is made up of billions and billions of neurons.
Jon: Stay a while, friend, and I will tell you an epic tale. Yes, mm, I'm buying it. Clearly, that is the gait of a man who has an epic tale to tell. Blah blah. Blah blah! Okay, probably something about Dracula or werewolves. Let's do this hoopderscotch! Good morning, Hercules. It is time to train! Follow me outside so that we may begin. I don't feel... I don't feel like I'm being treated appropriately here. Hm, there's something about this game that seems eerily familiar, isn't it? But I can't put my finger on it. Hmm. What is it? The blue action button? The chicken cooing? That forest like and cozy opening? That- holy shit! Teleportin' centaur! Shoulda called it the Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of time if you catch my cold! Achoo!
Seriously, this game's introduction is merely identical to Ocarina of Time. It's like they just want to get my pavlovian goin'. My pavlov. Hey, I'm sold. I need you to clear these rocks out of this field for me, Hercules. Riveting. I mean, honestly. You get the deadliest and strongest demigod on the planet and this is what you use him for. This is his best application? Well, I mean, yeah... Who else could pick up rocks that big? Your sister? Sister can't do it. You know as far as a licensed game with an I.P. this mundane, it's really not that bad. Kind of impressive in scale. Although, ultimately, it's nothing I'd write home about.
[Except for this part...]
Jon: But let's be honest. Bring down the mic! The best thing about this game is the over powered-ass pause sound!
[PAUSE FX]
Jon: Also there's actually a Game Boy version of this one. Let's have a look at it. That's the box art? I don't think that's Kevin Sorbo at all.
[Loud, ear splitting "music"]
Jon: Ah...Ow...
Jacques: Owowowow wowowow. Jacques explodes
Jon: So the first thing you'll notice about this magnificent work of art is the score. Or should I say the knives running up and down rusty garbage bins. That's probably closer. This hurts my ears so bad! It needs to stop!
[HLPME]
Jon: It's like a mix between a fever dream and the Insane Clown Posse. Oh, man, looks like Hercules has been eating one too many ambrosias. Heheheh you know what I'm sayin'? His walk cycle is amazing. I can't get enough of it. He looks like Eric Cartman trying to cut a jig.
[Jon dances around trying to impersonate Hercules' walking]
Jon: Unlike the N64 version, this version is more like an RPG. It makes this annoying sound every time you talk to someone.
[boop and bop noises that sound like a 1980's computer]
Jon: Like world is coming to an end or something. "I only speak to sailors." Well, if that's the case, you'll probably pretty much limiting yourself to port towns, honestly, and even then they're out to sea most of the time. Why aren't you on a boat? A boat would really be a better fit for you. Also, what the fu... who says that? The fisherman also only talks to sailors. Okay, well, at least that one makes some sense. The stroller also only talks to sailors. Okay, first of all, what kind of an occupation is stroller? What kind of town is this? How did anyone even learn speech if everyone talks to sailors and there ain't no sailors 'round town?! Well, I guess if being a sailor is what it takes to be validated around here I might as well take to the streets and give it my all.
[Hercules falls into the water and drowns instantly]
Jon: Ohohoh my god! He didn't stand a chance! Poor hunk of a bastard sunk like a brick. Huh. Well, this sweet old lady seems kind enough. Maybe, I'll finally get a hint about what to do around here. Don't stay here. I might hurt you. Lady, you gotta work on that anger. I'm sorry to have imposed on you, madam. Good thing we're not in Florida or this may have really turned ugly. Leave me alone. Can't you see that I am busy. Oh, don't you worry, Eury. It's plain for all to see. Also, I think it's prudent to point out that it's actually Mr. Eurydice who's the busy one. Busy, busy, busy. He can't even be bothered to clean up the dead cat, he's so preoccupied! The cat's dead, dude, you can't just leave something like this laying around. You gotta step up. You gotta be a man. Get rid of this. Put it in the trash. You can't be jerkin' responsibility.
Now I've played a lot of RPGs in my day, and I gotta say hand down this one has to have the most stand off-ish NPCs ever! I don't think even one of these people is happy to see you. They might as well not be there at all. Hey guys! I don't think you should be so rude to Hercules! He's the son of Zues! Also, he can kill you real easily. I think that's the main thing. All right, well, if I can't find any help outside maybe I'll find some help inside.
"Get out of our home."
[Jon laughs and facepalms]
Jon: Well, yeah. I mean, I suppose that's right. I think anything from that would be deviating from the norm.
[Jon throws his arms up into the air, gets a bottle of pills and swallows them all]
Jon (internal voice): I didn't really want to become immortal that much anyways. Too much hard work.
[He then drinks a bottle of vodka] [Dear Kids: Please don't kill yourselves then sue me.]
Jon (internal voice): We gotta watch people going in and out of the White House for the rest of the time. No thanks, Samuel.
[POOP]
Then he stares roight back at me and he says “swood”
submitted by MrDoofer to JonTron [link] [comments]
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